⚡️Kristen Kalp - Page 3 of 77 - Soul care for you. And your business.

Latest Blog Posts — Page 3

The Other Side

We get up every day
and do the work.
There is drama, pain,
resistance, play,
noise. Sometimes
the deafening silence.

We get up every day and do the work.
No one anywhere says a word because
they do not see and cannot know
what’s required to enter the chambers of the heart,
day after day, week after week, year after year.

They cannot know what it’s like to crawl along your belly
through the tears-snot-pain-awful for what seems like miles
in order to find that reliable feast set in a room of rock:
peace, persistence,
pleasure.

We tell them but they do not believe:
the other side of the tunnel opens
in all directions to pure
blinding
light.

P.S. My book of poetry is pay-what-you-can priced.

Any Given Tuesday

Two poems to share with you in this podcast episode!

Any Given Tuesday

I cannot tell
them what it’s like
in here, in my brain,
late September, facing down
another pandemic winter,
climate change placing our house
in a new tornado alley, the immediate world
divided:
red, blue,
pro, anti,
on and on,
while I try pointing my dials to
Function.

Ignore your tightly wound belly
and the tears streaming down your cheeks
because it’s not one thing
it’s all of it:
All of It.
All. Of. It:

We were not meant to hold this much pain
without being able to hold each other tightly,
physically, breathing in the same room.

Healing without holding hands is so much harder.

We continue to accrue layers of not-here,
stacking distraction
upon mess
upon dysfunction,
cynicism,
rot.

And still my brain demands it,
beneath the piles of wet cardboard
and the urine-soaked carpets of mind:

Just Function, Kalp.

Just remember how to write.
Just pretend it isn’t happening.

Just keep swimming.

Just

keep

swimming

Secrets

You taught me
so much more
than straight A’s ever could

just by popping the truck
intro neutral at the top
of the longest hill around
and refusing to brake
all
the
way
down
,

my little body
screaming and squealing
in delightful terror
as we picked up speed,
squiggling past more
and more houses,
all of me screeching along with the tires
in the deep trust of childhood
that can only be reached
before the world
does any real breaking:

we’re gonna die
but not right now

we’re alive
we’re alive
we’re alive

(…and, um, hearing about this would probably upset your mother.)

You showed me the places we can go
only with one another
and for no good reason,
just because it’s fun
to be
here.

Maybe this was your best-kept
secret to living:
all trust,
no breaks.

P.S. My book of poems is pay-what-you-can priced right here!

Followup

Last week she told me she wouldn’t come
to my latest offering even if it were free.

I absorbed the blow, laughing —
light as a leaf
falling from the tree outside —
but the seeds of her doubt are trying to take root.
(I have been silenced by far less.)

Perhaps the larger part of Maturity In the Internet Age
is choosing to look it all in the eye and proclaim:

You cannot take my work from me.
You cannot make me believe I am trivial.

You cannot silence me today.
Or tomorrow.
Or on any of the days to come.

This is the promise,
and the reward,
all in one:
you cannot
take
my work
from me
ever
again.

Amen.

This is an episode of That’s What She Said, my podcast! Listen in 👇🏼

P.S. If you need (not-poetry-based) help with following up in sales…stay on it.

The Mental Health Pep Talk

mental health pep talk

Little did I know when I started a business eleven (!!!) years ago that I would be talking about mental health with people all the time. The ins and outs, the ups and downs, the hardest parts of being human — it’s all on the table, and that was BEFORE we came down with a pandemic. Lemme read you a poem and love on you in this episode of That’s What She Said, okay? (There are hundreds more episodes here.  Or catch up on all things dealing with depression while running a business.)

To Past Me, Who Has Endured 20 Years of Depression

I love you.

Thank you for every tear you cried;
for every time you left the house
when you’d rather stay in;
for every time you shared the truth
instead of pretending to be okay.

Thank you for being brave enough
to ask for help, to tell on yourself,
to rest and pause when needed.

Thank you for simply enduring
when your brain was sure
you should no longer be alive.

Thank you for resisting the easy way out.

Thank you for being resilient enough to grow into;
grow despite;
grow past;
grow deeper.

Thank you for reaching into your darkest parts,
hands flailing around in sheer nothingness,
and finding gem after gem to examine,
cherish,
love.

Thank you for continuing to feel
in a world that wants you
to go
numb.

Just: thank you.

P.S. Dig poems?  My book of poetry is pay-what-you-can priced.

Resting Bitch Voice

It’s hard to know what to talk about right now.

It’s hard for me to pretend that exclusively talking about getting better at business will help you the most, since capitalism is itself a destructive and nefarious force that extracts resources and labor from humans and the planet, no matter the cost.

That’s why today I’m choosing to talk about the places you might find within yourself that are fucking you over in capitalistic ways that we’ve come to accept as par for being alive in Western culture.

I’m going to call this portion of my asshole brain Resting Bitch Voice. It’s like Resting Bitch Face, only this doesn’t just make you look like you’re pissed when you’re in the latest edition of People magazine.

Resting Bitch Voice keeps you tired, overworked, stressed, steeped in martyrdom, and unable to articulate exactly why you feel like a bag of old turds.

Psst! This is an episode of my podcast, That’s What She Said! Listen in below or keep reading for a transcript-ish version.

First and most obviously, Resting Bitch Voice makes you EARN rest.

You can’t just wake up on any given day off and then go right back to bed.

You’re not allowed to wipe everything from your calendar because your body is falling-down tired.

You must keep hustling, pushing, and powering through.

Every day, all the time.

No matter what.

When you manage to stop hustling, pushing, or powering through, RBV will go ahead and shame you for being ‘lazy’ or ‘selfish’ or both.

Resting Bitch Voice will also pipe up about how you’re doing rest WRONG.

It says things like…

Why can’t you do all these tasks on this very long list and THEN rest?

Why can’t you rest MORE PRODUCTIVELY?

Why aren’t you working ahead when you know you have [ENORMOUS LIST OF THINGS] to do next week?

Why is the pandemic STILL making you tired?

Why can’t you just HANDLE YOUR SHIT without having to sleep, chill, ask for help, or unplug?

If and when you manage to ignore each of those questions, it changes tactics.

…I see you’re still attempting to rest.

Let me remind you of each task on your future to-do list every few seconds, thus causing your workload to haunt you indefinitely. GOOD LUCK RESTING NOW, HUNNY!

Ultimately, Resting Bitch Voice continuously conveys that it is NOT OKAY to be human.

It NEVER stops questioning your Very Human Limitations.

You have to eat?

And pee and poop and sleep and move around and talk to other people, too…?

Amy Poehler Reaction GIF

You need to stop working for today?

Amy Poehler Reaction GIF

You need the weekend to recuperate from this week’s work?

Amy Poehler Reaction GIF

Much of learning to rest is learning to disengage from Resting Bitch Voice.

Not to fight with the voice.

Not to negotiate

or argue with or even

entertain the voice.

You can learn to treat Resting Bitch Voice like an inconsequential phone notification, which can dismissed as easily as a random fact you don’t care about showing up on your screen.

::ding::

YOU NEED TO EARN REST

::dismisses with a NOPE::

::removes pants, lies down::

Unfortunately, most of the business-owning peeps I work with are OWNED by Resting Bitch Voice.

While I identify myself as a business coach, much of my work is helping people DISengage from capitalism’s shitty side effects.

Rested people are better able to show up for their lives, their businesses, and their loved ones.

Rested people give the finger to hustle culture by working smarter, not CONTINOUSLY FOR EVERY MOMENT UNTIL DEATH.

Rested people enjoy their lives. (Related: it doesn’t count if you don’t enjoy it.)

Rested people encourage others to rest.

I’m not telling you about Resting Bitch Voice because this is easy work.

Rather, I’m talking about the mechanics of rest because it’s hard for me. My natural tendency is to WAKE UP AND DO SHIT UNTIL I DROP.

But my body is clear about the consequences of not resting.

There was that time my thyroid went down for the count and I learned to make tiny, annoying progress after napping twice before noon for a number of months. There are all the years that I’ve pushed too hard and deepened my own depression.

There is a long list of mental and physical symptoms that appear when I de-prioritize sleep, rest, chill time, down time, and generally not giving a fuck about the internet. (Resting Bitch Voice LOOOOOOOVES Instagram.)

I had to learn that Resting Bitch Voice a.) exists and b.) can singlehandedly ruin my health when I listen to it.

Thus, I’m passing this intelligence along to you.

Whether the roots of your particular RBV are located in capitalism, in your upbringing, in your cultural inheritance, or all three…you don’t have to let it steal rest from you any longer.

Pretend that Resting Bitch Voice has no power over you for the space of the next 3 questions.

Pretend you are no longer bound to the demeaning, Never-Good-Enough voice in your head.

Pretend it can no longer steal your peace or make you wobble through your to-do list far past the point of exhaustion.

How many hours of sleep and/or downtime would you get if you allowed yourself to be fully human?

What would regular rest and downtime look like if you let yourself be fully human?

What would you put down, leave behind, stop doing, or start prioritizing from an allowed-to-be-fully-human space?

FOR REAL THOUGH:

How many hours of sleep and/or downtime would you get if you allowed yourself to be fully human?

What would regular rest and downtime look like if you let yourself be fully human?

What would you put down, leave behind, stop doing, or start prioritizing from an allowed-to-be-fully-human space?

Start there.

If you’d like to let me know what you’re doing to start doing (or stop doing!), drop me a line via k@kristenkalp.com or right here. I’d love to hear which of your Very Human Limitations you’re going to prioritize!

If you’d like my help in bringing your truest work into the world — minus hustle culture and plus rest — talk with me about business coaching! (On the actual phone like it’s 1994!)

🔥Peek at KK on Tap (online) or Solo (in person, Philadelphia), then book your call.

Resting Bitch Voice doesn’t have to steal your time and energy any longer.

May you find the ability to identify and dismiss RBV. Day after day, week after week, until it no longer holds sway over your calendar or identity.

May you learn to put your work down and rest completely.

May you enjoy the fruits of your labors, rather than working constantly to produce even more sweetness that goes untasted.

P.S. It doesn’t count if you don’t enjoy it.