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Money is Your Friend.

money habit

Psst! This is part of a That’s What She Said podcast series about befriending all the things you spend in life: time, money, and energy.  Enjoy!

Just like you might not feel like the phrase ‘time is your friend‘ is true, ‘money is your friend’ might strike you as a bold-faced lie. AND. I do not know of a single person who operates completely outside the realm of money. I know no one who doesn’t think about, spend, save, worry about, or use money to operate their lives.

Part of what fucks with our heads about money is what we were taught about it growing up; how much our parents had or didn’t have, how our family used or didn’t use money.

I grew up going to both protestant and Catholic church each week (more about that here), where I was taught that money is the root of all evil. That wanting money is bad. That having money is bad. And that giving money to the church is good. Like, WOW GOOD.

It’s taken decades to unravel those early ‘money is the root of all evil’ teachings from the reality of how money operates within spiritual belief systems, so I want to briefly address this issue. (Side note: THE LOVE OF money is described as the root of all evil in the Bible, not money itself. Editing and context matter. Words are really easy to truncate and manipulate, particularly by people who have access to a spiritual text and a pulpit.)

If church of some kind messed with your head around money as a kid: two quick facts.

Fact #1: The Roman Catholic church is estimated to have assets worth a minimum of $30 billion dollars.

Fact #2: A 2016 study found that the U.S. faith sector “is worth $1.2 trillion, more than the combined revenue of the top 10 technology companies in the country, including Apple, Amazon, and Google.” (Source)

So…money is bad, says (much of) religion, BUT ALSO WORTH 1.2 TRILLION to the U.S. faith sector.

Money is VERY VERY BAD, say most places of worship, but also please buy our books, programs, services, belief systems, and political candidates. (Guilt trips included at no extra charge!)

I’m talking about this not to bash religion in any capacity, but to point out a place where you may specifically have been coerced into shutting down around money.

If you’ve ever been taught that having, using, earning, spending, or worrying about money messes with your spiritual side, can we let that shit go?

Treating money as purely bad is both untrue and unfair.  Worse, that belief holds us back from doing our truest work in the world.

I grew up in a trailer and bought all my clothes from thrift stores, the mall being reserved for a Back to School Outfit and new sneakers once a year. Money was always scarce. I wasn’t taught money skills, money tips, money tricks, or even basic budgeting. Junior high and high school classes failed to teach practical money skills in any capacity, but WOW DID CALCULUS COME IN HANDY (kidding).  College led to my discovering the world of credit cards, which really amounted to racking up tons of debt with no solid plans for paying it down. Owning a business has revealed that while I am a consummate earner, saving and budgeting are still skills I struggle to manage.

Absolutely everything that I know about money has been hard-won, and I hope my sharing three ways I improved my relationship with money will be helpful for you.

MONEY HABIT OF MAGNIFICENCE #1: LOOK AT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT(S).

This might seem like a REALLY small thing if you’ve grown up without having experienced poverty, overdrawn bank accounts, or massive debt. But to those who have experienced the warm wash of shame that happens when you open up your banking app and feel like you don’t have control over your life because you don’t have control over your money, it’s a big deal. (Read: I actively avoided checking my bank account for a number of years in my late twenties. Once every few weeks is more than enough, right?)

I know you don’t want to look at your bank accounts when the chips are down. I know how your pulse races, your cheeks blush, and your fingers shake when you login to see how little money you’ve got or how much the overdraft charges are for today.

I get it. AND. The only way to get better at money is to face it directly.

Logging in to your bank account every day, even when the balance that’s waiting for you is drastic or terrible, is better than avoiding your money reality. Hoping your money issues will go away or miraculously be fixed actively harms Future You.

Being willing to look your money in the face is a HUGE step. From there, we move on to some simple numbers.

MONEY HABIT OF MAGNIFICENCE #2: KNOW WHAT’S ENOUGH.

Business owners often come to me for coaching (details of working with me here!) without knowing how much money is ‘enough.’

Enough is the point at which you can pay your business expenses, your salary, and your taxes without drawing from savings or going into debt.

Enough is the bare minimum upon which you can operate a profitable business. It’s often a smaller number than you’d think, but you can’t know until you actually do some math to find it.

🔥I’ll happily help you break down Finding Your Enough Number in this podcast, and you can pick up the workbook in which I walk you through Finding Your Enough Number for $10.

We’ll dive into your numbers, find your Enough number, and take one more step toward befriending money as a business owner. With that number in hand, we can move on.

MONEY HABIT OF MAGNIFICENCE #3: BE VERY SPECIFIC ABOUT THE MONEY YOU WANT.

When coaching peeps want to make ‘more’ money in business, we first spend time getting to a VERY specific earning number. Then we break down how to reach that number in the coming months of business.

We don’t say we want Barbara to find ‘more’ clients. Based on her Enough number, we want her to find 13 clients in the coming 6 weeks.

We don’t say we want Krysta to book ‘more’ weddings. We want her to focus on booking 3 weddings in the next 3 weeks.

An amorphous ‘more’ can never be reached, and therefore you’ll never feel satisfied with regards to money.

Based on your Enough number, how many products or services do you have to sell in the coming month? And next month?

This is the unsexy way that business is done! You can have all the bells and whistles and coaches and programs in the world, but being an entrepreneur really does come down to knowing your expenses, your income, your tax burden, and your needs — then marketing your work accordingly.

Your Enough number provides the baseline for running a soulful and profitable business.

The people I work with don’t want to make seven figures in the next 22 minutes using THESE 8 STEPS THAT ARE AVAILABLE ONLY THROUGH THIS LIMITED TIME OFFER.

My peeps want to create and nourish a demand for the work they create that allows them to be both well paid and time affluent.

Today’s deceptively simple approach to money allows you to reach Enough without having to scale your business to include 17 employees, AND it gives you the time you need to do your work in the world. (Or to fuck off and do nothing at all!)

THE MONEY IS YOUR FRIEND ACTION RECAP

🌈  Login to your bank account. Face what’s there. Login again tomorrow. Repeat. You’re building a muscle and this will become less scary with time.
🌈  Find Your Enough Number if you own a business so that you know exactly how much you need to make in order to run a profitable operation. (Listen to the podcast and pick up the workbook, too!)
🌈  Work backwards from your Enough number in order to create Very Specific marketing goals for the coming months.

If you’d like me to help you do this work in your business, talk to me about KK on Tap biz coaching! You can grab the details or join the waitlist at kristenkalp.com/tap. I’d be thrilled to help you both define and earn Enough in the coming year.

Hugs,
K

P.S. Want to dive deeper into selling from here? Try That’s What She Said podcast episode #100, Stay on it.

Time is your friend.

time

As we re-enter the world in some fashion after being locked down or nearly locked down for more than a year, I wanted to talk about some of our most-basic-but-important relationships as humans.

Like it or not, you’ve got a relationship with time, with money, and with energy. We’re going to address each of those relationships with an eye toward improving each one in a tiny series of coaching podcasts, starting with time. Truth be told…

Time is your friend.

My saying ‘time is your friend’ might feel like a bunch of bullshit. Because you have 3 meetings, 4 car rides, and 72 emails to conquer today, and that even doesn’t include your ‘real’ work. You might feel as if time is scarce or as if time is your most hated enemy. You might feel as if you don’t have enough time, no matter what you do or how hard you try to find time for yourself and your interests. You might have experienced so MUCH time in pandemic that you’d like to skip a year or two in response. You might feel bored by time, stressed by time, or just plain pissed off that time is not within your control.

Let’s talk about simple ways to to help you feel less like you’re free falling through your days.

This podcast episode will help you enjoy the time you’ve got by being fully present with what is, rather than stressing about the 84 tasks you haven’t done and the fact that you haven’t yet watched Ted Lasso. (Spoiler alert: THAT SHOW IS AMAZING.)

When befriending time, remember: structure is not the enemy.  Unstructured free falls through time are the enemy.

If you’re anything like me, I know how hard you fight structure of ANY kind. I know you don’t want to do any activity every single day, let alone something USEFUL OR HELPFUL FOR YOUR LIFE every day.

You know that having a precise calendar with scheduled work tasks and clear boundaries around your work time would be useful. But you can’t seem to change your days. You wake up, get to your desk at some point, and then wonder what to do…so you check your email, get overwhelmed by the amount of communication ahead of you…and start scrolling. Or reading emails without answering. Or bouncing from tab to tab, vaguely ‘working’ but without any real sense of direction.

Another day lost to overwhelm.

For the full monty on time and structure, I’ve got you covered. The Structure That Doesn’t Suck podcast series will help you create structure from the ground up in your life, whether you hate structure with the fire of a thousand suns or, at the opposite end of the spectrum, know exactly what you’ll be doing at 3pm on Tuesday six months from now.

Part One helps you figure out which of two time types you fall into and recognize your most basic patterns.  Part Two helps you sort your priorities and get shit DONE.  Part Three loads you up with tips to help maximize your time, while in Part Four you’ll dream big and nail down some concrete plans to help you move forward with structure AND priorities in place. Part Five wraps up with making parameters for your Next Big Thing to unfold, this time with structure in place from the beginning!

Not ready for the five part undertaking of Structure That Doesn’t Suck?

Here are three ways to befriend time right this instant.

TIME HABIT OF MAGNIFICENCE #1: Schedule hard tasks of all kinds.

Much of what doesn’t get done by peeps who own their own businesses is truly boring shit.

For my coaching peeps, those hard tasks tend to be accounting, bookkeeping, invoicing, and most anything related to money. (Sales, marketing, and pricing can also fall into this category!) Because they avoid the tasks, each one grows in size, making them EVEN MORE FANTASTIC TO AVOID.

If you hate bookkeeping and you’re a month behind, it’s a task you dread. Make that six months of no bookkeeping and FUCK IT I’LL START A NEW BUSINESS INSTEAD OF DOING THIS WORK.

You can avoid that FUCK IT I HATE THIS reaction by scheduling regular time to do any and every dreaded business task.

Schedule regularly designated days or times each month to do hard things.

In KK on Tap, we have Get Shit Done Days to help with this! We meet at 10am to tell each other what we’ll be working on, then go at the bullshit tasks we’d rather not do until 2pm, when we meet again to talk about what we’ve accomplished. (And fling confetti. Obviously.)

The ‘we’re in this together’ momentum makes even the most mundane of tasks celebration worthy: we didn’t want to do things! We rallied and did them anyway! Hooray! (To be clear: we clear *four* hours to work. *Four.* So much of what we dread doing as business owners takes up headspace for months, but takes minutes to complete!)

Schedule recurring hard tasks so you don’t have to think about ’em.

Rather than running out of time to work on your social media posts and doing them in front of the TV on Wednesday nights, set up a recurring event that gives you time to do your marketing during regular work hours. Same goes for writing your newsletter, holding a sale, or meeting with your accountant!

Schedule it, schedule it, schedule it.

The more willing you are to schedule at least some of your work time, the freer you become to enjoy the rest of your work life!

No more dread and freaking out about all that shit you’re not doing.
No more guilt about avoiding your accountant.
No more vague sense of nausea about the paperwork you haven’t filled out.
No more wondering whether your clients are mad at you because you haven’t done what you promised.

Put it on the calendar, then do the work when the time comes. You got this.

Need help with this topic? Check out That’s What She Said episode 204, The Quietly Subversive Three-Hour Work Day.

Next up: the constant hustle. One of the traps of owning your own business is getting to a point where you’re working ALL THE TIME. You’re always working or thinking about working. When you do have time off, it tends to focus around holidays, other peoples’ needs, or both. In the interest of breaking that pattern, let’s talk about our second habit…

TIME HABIT OF MAGNIFICENCE #2: Schedule things to look forward to all over the place.

Begin by taking days off for no good reason.

Of course you’ll be at the family Christmas this year, complete with the gift buying and cooking and prepping and cleaning that entails! But what about taking off a random Thursday in October for no good reason?

We often think we have to have a Very Good Reason for taking time off, when in actuality we can enjoy days off without any ‘real’ reason at any time.

We’re adults, aren’t we?

To schedule random days off, simply take a look at your calendar of choice and mark three full work days in the coming six months as OFF. Then honor them. I did this by sprinkling some Wednesdays and Thursdays OFF in the next six months, and I can guarantee that Future Me will be happy AF. (Also: if you haven’t yet watched Ted Lasso, this is a perfect place to binge watch! FOR NO GOOD REASON!)

You’ll be tempted to take the days back, to make them super productive or project-oriented, or to schedule work tasks *only in the morning* because you feel guilty about having time off.

Please don’t do those things.

Give yourself the gift of a full, glorious, 100% responsibility-free day off.  JUST BECAUSE.

TIME HABIT OF MAGNIFICENCE #3: Turn your goddamn phone off.

Your phone does not love you. It cannot hold you and will not attend your funeral. It is a machine that stimulates our brains but severs us from our bodies — to our detriment.

Turning your phone off during the work day can help you focus. Turning it off when you’re not working can help you be present with all that is happening in your life. Either way, turning your phone off for sixty minutes a day will create freedom from the constant checking-picking-up-replying-scrolling patterns we’ve made during pandemic!

👉🏻If you’d like to cut your phone usage by 50% or more each day, check out Space. Space is a 21-day email class that will help you take back your time and attention with small, action-oriented daily activities.

A recent student of Space, Laura, said: “The internal space is DEEP AND WIDE! I feel like a huge, sprawling, muddy energy disease has been removed from my system. There is so much more space to feel potential and to take action. I have space to have slow mornings, take naps, play some video games, sit outside and enjoy the sun and flowers and STILL GET MORE WORK DONE than I ever did before because I’m not on my phone.”

If the thought of having random days off, time without your phone for an hour each day, and scheduling tasks can’t even BEGIN to touch the time issues you’ve got going on in your business, please consider working with me through KK on Tap biz coaching.

I’m actually what they call time affluent — meaning that I don’t view time as a scarce beast coming to eat my life and soul. When we work together, I can help you find, create, and enjoy time in ways you can’t even imagine at this very moment.

Join the waitlist for coaching here — or shoot me an email and I’ll add you to the waitlist.

THE RECAP. TO BEFRIEND TIME FROM HERE:

🔥Schedule time to complete at least 3 tasks you’ve been avoiding.
🔥Schedule 3 random, you didn’t earn them days off in the next six months.
🔥Turn your phone off for an hour as often as possible.
🔥Check out Space if you’d like to cut your phone time by 50% or more.  (The average person gets back FOURTEEN hours per week!)
🔥Listen to the Structure That Doesn’t Suck series if you’d like to go deeper into befriending time!

Hugs,

K

P.S.  Ever feel like you’re doing it wrong, where it = everything?  Read this next.

Coaching Quickie: Start a No Collection.

Are you afraid of hearing the word NO?

Do you avoid asking for help — or asking for anything that could lead to hearing a NO from another human being?

If yes, first and foremost, YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

Most of my biz coaching clients come to me so avoidant of the word ‘no’ that they never ask questions or make offers that could lead to hearing that word.

This coaching quickie episode of That’s What She Said will help you a.) stop fearing the word ‘no,’ and b.) actively celebrate every last rejection you receive.

Ready?

Start a No Collection.

Your goal is to make SO MANY asks of your fellow humans in the coming week that you collect 3 to 5 no’s along the way.

Starting a No Collection is an easy way of turning a word we tend to fear — ‘no’ — into a celebration of having asked in the first place. (Either you get a yes — WHICH IS FANTASTIC — or a no — which gets added to your collection! See how you win either way, with this one trick?)

Creating a No Collection allows you to assess your needs, ask for support with your most pressing concerns, and collect some help along the way.

By tracking and celebrating each one of the no’s you receive, you become less afraid of hearing no, less afraid of asking for help in general, and less afraid of making offers in your business. (Not everyone will want everything you offer! That’s par for owning and operating an enterprise.)

BUT WHAT WILL I ASK FOR, KRISTEN?

First and foremost: ask for help with invisible labor.

Any and everywhere that you complete tasks no one sees or acknowledges, take time to write those tasks down. Particularly tasks that make you seethe with resentment, that make you feel like you’re wasting your time or send you into despair, or that are in your business but do not require your particular gifts to complete. (For example: an acupuncturist client of mine recently hired an assistant to sterilize instruments, clean session rooms, and launder blankets and towels between appointments. Necessary work? Yes. Necessary work for the person who owns the business to complete? Not at all.)

If you’re seething with resentment about any tasks on your list, start there with asking for help! It can be paid help, bartered help, free help, family help, or friend help! The point is to ASK FOR HELP.

WHAT ELSE CAN I ASK FOR HELP WITH, KRISTEN?

Anything at all. Might I recommend support of some kind?

You can ask your friend to look over your new business product/service sales page and provide feedback about it.

Ask a colleague to hire you.

Ask to hire a colleague!

Ask for help with an area of business you find sticky or tricky: accounting, bookkeeping, graphic design, social media management, and/or consistent communication with your audience are places I’ve found that most business owners need support.

Ask for accountability around completing ________ [a task you’ve been avoiding for weeks/months/years/since Obama was in office].

As a business owner, I can 100% guarantee that you need help with something (or many somethings) at this moment.

I can also guarantee that specific requests for the support you need are the only way to get what you need, ’cause a money fairy or accounting fairy or structured time fairy is not going to drop out of the sky and makeover your life this afternoon.

👉🏻Should you need ALL THE HELP — hop on my KK on Tap biz coaching waitlist! When biz coaching spots open, you’ll be the first to know, and you’ll have me in your court for one full year. All the magic goes down online, so you can work with me from anywhere in the world!

Pro tip: specificity in your ask makes it easier for peeps to say yes or no.

Asking for an hour-long exploratory conversation is better than asking someone to ‘collaborate’ on an unspecified project that hasn’t yet been created.

Asking a colleague to text you on Tuesday mornings and ask whether you’ve completed the week’s bookkeeping duty beats asking someone to simply ‘be an accountability buddy.’ (For what? And how long? On which platform? Regarding which activities?)

Asking your partner to cook dinner on Wednesday and Friday beats asking for them to cook dinner ‘more.’ (I mean, they cooked that one time last week, which is technically ‘more’ than the weeks prior…)

Specific asks give a person an idea of what is expected, and when, and how much time it will take to complete the task. Because the other person understands the level of time, money, and/or energy needed to complete the task, they’re better equipped to give an honest answer and to be genuinely helpful when the time comes.

And if they say no, remember: you’re building a No Collection! Add it to the collection and keep on trucking!

YAH BUT HOW DO I ASK, EXACTLY?

There are an infinite number of ways to ask and I’ll roll through a few of ’em, but first: make peace with the asking itself.

Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, bad, wrong, or any other words your asshole brain throws around to keep you from completing this activity.

Asking for help makes you A HUMAN. We aren’t meant to meet 100% of our needs all by ourselves, but somehow the world makes it seem like being ‘self-made’ is the goal. We’re trained to need no one, ever, for any reason.

When you start a No Collection, you make it more likely that you’ll get the help you need to thrive at this moment.

If phrasing trips you up, here are 10 ways to frame the way you ask for help. The more specificity you can weave into these questions, the better:

Would you be willing to ____________?
Can you teach me how to ____________?
I have ____________ and you have ___________, can we trade?
Can you take a look at this [project/email/sales page/product] and let me know what you think about X?
Is it okay to call you/text you this afternoon about ___________?
I could use some help with _______________ this week. I estimate it will take X minutes.
Remember how [last week/month/year] you offered to _____________? I’d like to take you up on that offer.
I’ll give you ten bucks and a high five if you know the answer to this question. _____?
You asked if you could help and this is how. Here’s what I need: __________________.

WHAT ABOUT ASKING FOR MONEY?

Which clients or potential clients do you need to ask about hiring you, rehiring you, making a deposit, or pressing the buy button?

Because you can do that shit like BOOM. Make a list of about five people who have been circling your business and make a time-sensitive offer to each one. (More about making an offer that gets money in your bank account here.)

Maybe you include a 72-hour promo code with a ‘hire me!’ email. Maybe you offer a dozen roses or a massive discount or a huge bonus for buying within 24 hours. Maybe you extend an offer that hasn’t been doing all that well by making another pitch or two for your peeps to hire you.

So long as you’re asking your peeps to give you money in business, you’re doing the hard work of selling AND building your No Collection along the way.

Again, your goal is to gather 3-5 no’s for your No Collection in the coming week. Lemme know how it goes by shooting an email to k@kristenkalp.com!

P.S. Need help selling when you’re sick of saying the same thing over and over (and fucking OVER)…?  I FEEL YOU!  And also… Stay on it.

Laura Holway talks processes to make your biz life WAY less stressy.

This episode of That’s What She Said will make you feel less alone and more sane.  Bonus: you get to meet a rad new person and learn from her wisdom!

Laura Holway is a teacher, coach, writer, and kindred spirit. We met earlier this year. I immediately asked her to be on the podcast when I caught her talking about click-bait entrepreneurship and calling out the bullshit marketing practices that have hurt my soul over the last 11 years of owning a business.  (Related: the next level doesn’t exist.)

I invited her here to call out all sorts of bullshit, to help you remove yourself from those forms of bullshit, and to find the gifts that come after and from within the pain of our lives.

Laura uses a 5-step process to work with clients, and I wanted to walk through all 5 of those steps because they’re a.) brilliant and b.) clearly born of working the wrong way in order to find the right way.

Listen in as Laura Holway and I tackle learning to listen to your being, defining your center, connecting, experimenting, and creating support in your day-to-day entrepreneurial life!

Here are links to Laura’s Website ; Instagram; Newsletter; Podcast; and Tip Jar (it supports a scholarship fund for coaching — how very anti-capitalist!).  She also mentions Don’t You Feel It Too? 

Hugs,
K

P.S.  What’s the book Laura mentions that I sweep from my own shelf to quote in real time during this interview?  Proposals for the Feminine Economy by Jennifer Armbrust. (Related: an invitation to let your deep knowing drive the bus.)

The Reclaiming

Pop Quiz!  Do you find yourself:

….working ALL the time?

…operating in a near-constant state of overwhelm?

…never or rarely taking time off? 

…doomscrolling more than you’d like? 

…unable to ask for help even when you desperately need it?

…not letting yourself take on a project that lights you up because REASONS?

If you said yes to *any* of those questions, today’s podcast is for you.

In this live recording of the That’s What She Said podcast, we’ll root through the places you’ve fallen into overwork and overwhelm — then find some ways to ease up on yourself and see what happens.

Let’s reclaim your daily habits, rest, structure, support, and joy.

And let’s do it without freaking out or making an enormous pledge to overhaul every aspect of your life.

Once you’ve listened, please contact me and tell me what you’re reclaiming right this instant!

🔥If you like the poem that kicks off this podcast, The Good Boss, download it as a gorgeous printable graphic here!

P.S.  If you’d like to work with me 1-on-1 and IN PERSON (!!!!), take a look at Solo.