Becoming hard is a (seemingly) mandatory part of growing up: quit FEELING so much! Forget the trusting and listening to yourself! Stop listening to the trees and water and wind and get your nose out of a book! Get on board with What Society Says.
Hard is how we get by and power through.
Hard runs roughshod over intuition and scoffs at any sort of growth that can’t be measured with analytics.
Hard screams that you’ve got to earn your keep, earn your rest, and earn your worth.
Hard can’t understand why money doesn’t feed your soul — just try harder!
It has no room for mess or doubt or joy or being human because the goal of being hard is to erase your ‘weaknesses’ and all your vulnerabilities.
I (inadvertently) went all in on hardness from ages 23 to 33.
I took it as gospel in every aspect of my life,
from the meeting room to the bedroom.
That hardness went from being a coping mechanism to a way of being.
It calcified over time.
I no longer felt connected to my breath,
to my intuition, to my sexual organs, or to my own ideas.
I was such a joy to be around.
I pushed myself and pushed myself,
firming up my inner mean girl,
thinking less and less kind things about myself
in the name of ‘success.’
Only hard ‘success’ feels absolutely awful;
it requires an abandonment of soul.
I was scaling the mountain just for the sake of being on top,
not for feeling my feet on the earth or the birds in the trees
or the wind on my face as I traveled.
To be hard is to fundamentally miss it.
To miss: the point.
The lightness of being.
The delight, the joy, the wonder.
To be hard is to throw a shell over your own soul and wonder why you can’t function.
The Softness Sessions are for slowly and lovingly finding your tender bits again.
They’re for taking off the layers of hardness the world and your job and your life seem to require so that you can love everything again.
You’re exhausted because the world is hard, sometimes, and your hardness makes it even fucking harder. Holding up 89 pounds of energetic armor for every moment of every day is exhausting.
You’re tired of being alive because the world needs more softness: more listening, more intuition, more heart, more life, more rest. Instead, hard gives us more talking, more certainty, more muscle, more pushing, more thinking.
It’s possible to lie softly on the earth and be at peace instead of running through your to-do list and/or your own personal codex of Very Huge Failings No One Could Possibly Understand or Forgive.
Softness isn’t a useless or trivial objective.
Through The Softness Sessions, you’ll start to drop your ‘hard’ behaviors, feel your feelings, and embrace your intuition.
That means you’ll also stop jamming your feelings into boxes and pretending they don’t exist, quit making yourself wrong for having feelings in the first place, and stop asking everyone else what you should do instead of tuning in to your own wisdom. Bonus: you’ll be way more fun to be around!
Most importantly, you’ll learn to access the safe space within yourself — where you know who you are, what you want, and how you’d like to live your life. (Translation: you’ll buy fewer programs, read fewer how-to books, and get better at doing things your way. So many dollars saved!)
You can get softer. Let’s make it happen.
The Softness Sessions are made up of six part-lesson, part-breathwork-session combos. They’re succinct and powerful, designed for using again and again.
I’ve condensed everything I know about becoming a softer human into dense and delightful audio magic. Each one starts with a TED-talk-like-lecture — that’s you listening to me — and ends with a short breathwork session — to help you listen to you.
We’ll cover six topics: The Hot Loneliness, The Mess, The Doubt, The Wilderness, The Steadiness, and The Joy. These are human universals that are best managed not by avoidance (my favorite!) but by facing them head on. We’ll explore each of these places we find ourselves not as failings, but as essential parts of being a human.
The Softness Sessions also include a live group, full-length breathwork session on October 29th at 5pm ET. A recording will be e-mailed within 24 hours of the event if you can’t be there.
OOH WAIT I MADE YOU A THING! I keep a Sharpie and journal on my bed because what comes to me in breathwork stays ever so briefly in the physical world, and I can only snag the gist of it if I’m lovingly diligent about writing it down. (It also makes for good re-reading — like, oh, I discovered this same thing in breathwork 8 months ago and then forgot. Because I am awesome.)
You’ll also get a gorgeous and exclusive book/journal version of The Softness Sessions! It’s analog, it’s magical, it’s an actual physical object, yay!
Your first session arrives on September 19th!
To recap: you’ll get a weekly Softness Session delivered to your inbox from 9/19 to 10/24, a real life delivered-by-mail journal that’s only for session members, and a group breathwork session on 10/29 at 5pm ET. For $88.
This is a perfect fit if you:
🗣 beat yourself up for having feelings
🗣 try (and fail) to ignore said feelings
🗣 can’t discern what’s your energy and what’s someone else’s
🗣 have out of control asshole brain
🗣 make yourself ‘earn’ joy, rest, fun, or sleep
🗣 enjoy my That’s What She Said podcast
🗣 want to access and grow the safe space within yourself
🗣 wish to (re)connect with your body and breath
How will this be delivered? Via private feed, with new sessions released weekly from September 19th to October 24th, 2019. Our full-length, live breathwork session goes down on October 29th at 5pm ET.
Wait, what is breathwork? It’s a form of active meditation that unfolds using a 3-part breath while you’re lying down. All the energetic gunk, garbage, and goo that accumulates simply from being a human in the world (read: all things emotional, political, tragic, frustrating, and despair-inducing) can move through your body without using drugs of any kind.
You lie down, you breathe, your shit gets sorted out. It really is that simple and that profound. If you’d like an extended answer, here you go!
Will I enjoy this if I’m new to breathwork? Yup! The goal is for the sessions to be worth it even if you never do a single breathwork session. BUT I HOPE YOU DO.
Can I sponsor someone else? Yup! Just check out and then let me know you’ve purchased a sponsored seat: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Best of all, sales of The Softness Sessions are actually part of a larger plot to help people! All the dollars fund scholarship(s) for KK on Tap biz coaching. This product helps make coaching accessible for those who otherwise can’t afford it. GO TEAM.
Oh, you need more testimonials?
“Such a cleverly orchestrated combination of your wit, personality, great tunes and breathing techniques that help the listener surrender.” —Jo Robertson
“Thank you for facilitating breathwork and for helping me reconnect to my spiritual side. Things are moving, releasing, becoming more clear… The past few weeks have had an entirely different flow to them, and breathwork has a had a huge part to play in that. Thank you for being the safe space, the kind voice, the shiny light that is facilitating so much positive change in my life.” — Kelly Costigan
“Have done a couple of your breathwork sessions before and have had a great and powerful experience, but it has felt as sort of a big step to do a lengthier session and have therefore only saved it for crisis situations. With these shorter sessions I look forward to making it a weekly routine.” — Julia Lillqvist