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Sometimes you make things because they live deep within you and you simply must.
And sometimes, you make things because you are trying to give what at what point, you needed to get. The photographer with no images of her father who creates family portraits for others. The musician who only wants others to feel understood without the need for words, and so he channels everything he has into making dance floors pulse with life. The comedian who makes jokes about misery and suffering and depression because without bearing a torch for others, he would creep back into alcoholism or drugs or despair.
Often — so often — we give what we needed to get.
It’s only recently that I realized I’m giving what I needed to get a few years ago, when I wanted a true, honest-to-God-not-just-Facebook-community about as much as I wanted to breathe, and when I felt crushed by the profound loneliness of owning a business while working from home.
I wanted someone to hear me and say, “I know.
I know you can’t do it the way everyone says you should.
I know how hard your heart pounds against your chest and begs to be felt.
I know how much it hurts to be alive. Just to be breathing, some days. I know.”
I wanted someone to answer my questions about the next step
without just doing quick math
and saying I should do the most profitable thing.
I wanted someone to tell me I wasn’t broken.
I wanted someone to tell me that losing weight wasn’t the answer.
I wanted someone to hold me accountable for doing what I said I was going to do.
I wanted someone to look me in the eyes and love me as I was in that moment
without mentioning my potential or my future or my accomplishments.
I wanted someone to listen deeply
and ask profound questions
without any vested interest in my answers.
I wanted someone to help me see myself.
I wanted to be heard.
I wanted to be heard.
I wanted to be heard.
I was screaming inside and terrified,
and all I wanted
was someone to come and sit beside me and hold me while I cried:
some other human to look me in the eye and understand
without running from it or shrinking it
or trying to make it fit into a more comfortable box of some kind.
and sit in the murk with me,
and face the truth there with me, too.
I needed someone to rub my back
and whisper “it’s okay”
in the way of mothers holding newborns,
with nothing but love.
I needed to be held, just then.
…and all THAT is why I created Steer Your Ship.
You get a sense of yourself again. (We’ll find you, wherever you went missing.)
You get to put down all the masks and walls you carry, and show yourself to someone who won’t judge you or make you feel less than or push you in any direction except the one you find most interesting.
You get someone who understands about shutting down and then coming to life again.
Hell, you’ll get someone who understands. Period.
It would be my honor and my delight to help you sort through the tangled threads of your own life, to see you fully, and to give you what I so needed to get. Further…
Growth takes other humans.
As much as I don’t like to admit that — as part hermit, part empath, part highly sensitive person and supremely shy introvert — growth takes other humans.
You need people to see you so they can reflect yourself back to you in an honest and loving way.
I’m happy to be that human mirror and to help you find wild and lovely, deeply surprising and ultimately delightful new ways of being in the world.
This isn’t like buying another $XXXX class and hoping for the best. On the other side of making this particular investment, you’ll have seen more of yourself than ever before. Further — it costs more to stay where you are. To stay stuck or lonely, confused or telling yourself you’ll figure it out on your own costs not only dollars in lost revenue, but YEARS. You say you’ll work on that or do that or figure that thing out next month and next month and next month until you find yourself hiding, stuck, exactly where you were years ago.
By the time we’ve finished working together, you’ll have grown in ways you can’t possibly anticipate right now, and you’ll get to know the joy that comes from being at least 30% more YOU in the world.
No more hiding, no more wishing things would just get easier without your putting in any effort to be seen, no more reading and consuming endless information without actually putting any of it into practice. (Yup, I see you, and AYUP, I know how scared you are, and I also know the pain that comes of not taking action while hiding behind ever-growing barricades of worst-case scenarios and anxiety.)
I've never felt more powerful than I do now. And I don't think I've ever accepted myself the way I do now.
You will grow in ways you cannot imagine.
I felt a huge shift within myself. I had felt really closed off and numb coming into this experience, and I just felt like I could breathe again after. And feel open. And good about myself. And hopeful.
...it really is crazy amazing and beautiful how close you can feel to a group of women after only knowing them for 72 hours. How in some ways I can feel closer to them than some of my friends I’ve known for years. But we were all open, real, and vulnerable with each other – which can be an extremely magical thing. We were all in a puddle of tears when we had to leave each other at the end of the workshop.
Before the workshop, I looked at business as this thing that I HAVE to do so we can survive. Now I look at business as this thing that helps us live our lives to the fullest in order for us to enjoy our lives.
I went from feeling like I sort of kinda of a project thing I'm working on, but it lives in the ether and someday maybe it will come to fruition... to carving out time each day to work on my deepest work, to managing my time and energy in order to make sure that work happens, to finding stillness instead of numbing it, and making a plan so that my business will definitely be a real thing with a real date of starting. When people ask me what I do, I don't feel the need to shift my feet back and forth and look sideways and raise my voice to a question mark at the end of each sentence.
It's nice to feel like my truest work is always right under the surface, rather than like I need to go hunting for it because it's been so long since I've been connected to it.
In just over four weeks since Steer Your Ship, I've more than doubled my wedding bookings for next year.
On the personal end, for the first time in my life I'm making active decisions about when to rest, and using my "off season" to rejuvenate and reflect. For years, I've planned to do that, but always failed - feeling like there was "too much to get done" and never actually resting.
I feel the disjointed parts of me, my life and my business have all finally locked into alignment to become unified and whole and strong.
(as shown, with crazy-ass otter accosting swimsuit)
I was surprised at how much we were able to dive into both personal and business issues and really get some problems solved. As much as each of us struggle with problems in our business and personal lives, we feel like solving them is going to have to be a long, drawn-out experience. But really, all it takes is a person who gets us, who will listen, and who will ask the questions that need to be asked.
I’ve had more fun in the past 4 days than I have in the past 4 years.
I have literally never felt so open and safe with a group of people in my entire life. Not a "group of strangers." Literally ANY GROUP OF PEOPLE.
With tears in my eyes I say this (happy tears of course), I WOULD NOT BE WHERE I AM WITHOUT THE ADVICE, LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME. I am amazed that in a few months time I have gone from being lost, confused and unhappy with my business to confident, excited, and joyful!! I truly am forever grateful!
Growth comes from having someone hold your feet to the fire, and from that someone doing it with love and joy and in the spirit of watching you unfurl in whichever direction you choose.
Often, the growth others experience with me is financial — oh hey, I doubled my income, I quit my day job, hooray! — but it’s so so so so so so much more important to me that you experience the utterly terrifying soul growth that means you’re being fully YOU in the world. Because that, my friend, has no price tag, can’t be taken away from you, and leads to roads you can’t even glimpse from where you are, let alone imagine. (But they’re gorgeous, and they’ve been waiting far too long for your footsteps already.)
I can’t wait to walk those roads with you, friend.
Steer Your Ship means you’ll have six months in which to unfurl — in business and in life, personally and spiritually and financially and emotionally — and I’ll be with you the whole freaking way.
Book a free 15-minute call and talk with me if you’re like, ‘UM, BUT IS THIS RIGHT FOR ME?’ I’m happy to chat it up!All my love —