You know how you’re minding your own business, having a decent day, and then WHAM you check your e-mail or your comments and some douchecanoe has thrown a hate bomb (or worse, a compliment-laden hate bomb disguised as ‘constructive criticism’) in your direction?
Let’s talk about what to do when strangers are mean to you on the internet.
I’m not Beyonce and don’t have millions of fans, but I do get my fair share of ‘critique,’ and ‘I thought you should know that _______________[insert passive aggressive comment here]’ and just plain freaking mean e-mails because of the work that I do. I’m sharing how I handle them instead of pretending that they don’t happen or that they don’t bother me. (See also: sometimes I fantasize about deleting this whole freaking enterprise and working at Starbucks.)
In this episode of That’s What She Said, we dive into:
– how to feel what you’re feeling without glossing over it, making yourself wrong, or turning into a bitter person who retreats to live in a dark cave and hate all of humanity
– why well-meaning, unsolicited ‘advice’ is the actual worst
– why hiding IS the answer (sometimes)
– why hiding is also NOT the answer
– how to keep perspective on the hate-bombs, advice-bombs, and passive-aggressive comments that come your way
– Elizabeth Gilbert’s concept of the ‘mental cigarette’ and how to stop smoking ’em
– a Brene Brown exercise to help you remember which voices actually matter in your life
You don’t have to let the mean voices win. Nor do you have to give the trolls any airtime.
But you do have to handle these unfortunate things as they happen, because your best and brightest self doesn’t have time for holding onto hate nuggets for any length of time.
P.S. How to stop hiding. (Featuring an encyclopedia of 29 ways I’ve tried to hide, obviously.)