come alive Archives - Kristen Kalp

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Heal the Horcruxes ⚡️M-School # 3

Here’s an excerpt from today’s podcast, Heal the Horcruxes, part three of M-School.  Here are parts one and two.

The most common horcrux in the world is MORE.

…and where you can see and then learn to put down all the ways you’ve fallen for ‘More,’ you can choose to pick up ‘enough.’

When we talk about having enough, we’re talking about realizing our place in the world. If you’ve ever been on a plane, you’re among roughly the wealthiest 1% of the world’s population in all of time.

Lemme repeat: if you’ve ever been on a plane, you’re among the wealthiest 1% of the world’s population.

So when we talk about more, and we talk about enough, we’re splitting hairs about your relative wealth. By virtue of your reading this, you can count yourselves as one of the wealthiest humans ever to have lived on the planet, even if you don’t have a collection of $7,000 handbags or seventeen cars or a squadron of hired help to dress you, bathe you, feed you, and transport you.

Of course, knowledge of this particular status doesn’t mean you feel wealthy: I certainly don’t, particularly when I’m strolling the streets of Paris and see bags in shop windows that cost more than my car. (And, let’s be honest, the total value of every car I’ve ever owned.)

Nor am I saying you should feel guilty about all you have: again, I don’t. I’m simply pointing out that in the whole great, vast and wide world that is your life, your ability to have traveled on a plane puts you in a class of people who are the cleanest, healthiest, and wealthiest the world has ever known.

You already have immense privilege, whether you acknowledge it or not. So, what will you do with it?

Most people will choose to pursue more money. Indefinitely.

More money, more money, more money, more money, more money.

It’s not particularly interesting, and it means your house will be filled with things and stuff, but it’s what the world offers. Shiny objects, writ larger and larger until the whole world is encrusted with crystals and diamonds.

From this perspective, there will never be enough money. Not ever, even for a minute, even if you’re a multi-billionaire.

You can choose to find your way to a place of enough.

From that place — in which your bills are paid, your heat is on, your food is relatively healthy and your safety is not at risk — you’re free to pursue more meaning, more time to yourself, more travel, and more creative projects.

More unplugged time.

More mornings in Paris.

More donations to charity.

More time with the people you love most.

More freedom, more spacious living, more adventuring that could go horribly wrong and leave you with malaria in a country where you speak none of the language.

More risk. More croissants. More Italian cookies.

More isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just that pursuing more money and only more money precludes your pursuit of other things that are much, much more interesting.

Like more connection.

More time to read.

More minutes in bookstores, wandering around with no particular place to be.

More mornings to sleep in and get dressed when you feel like it.

There’s a wealth of time and energy available to you that isn’t visible when you’re exclusively pursuing more money.

One afternoon, you might find yourself in Paris, sipping coffee and watching the world go by, and you might let your gaze wander from one person to another with Notre Dame in the background, and you might lose your breath in the wonder of being so very lucky to have chosen to pursue all the mores that are inherently risky, and you might breathe deeply in the knowledge that you, lucky human, already have everything you need.

I tell you this not to lecture you or to point out that OH DEAR GOD YOU LUCKY BASTARD HOW DARE YOU MAKE MORE MONEY, but to share that on the other side of ‘enough,’ we don’t really have a blueprint for how things are done.

When it comes to modeling generosity in business, we have a whole lot of fluff: peeps who give way less than 1% of their net profits to charity and call themselves philanthropists. Peeps who give to charity as absolutely nothing more than a strategic move to get press. Peeps who align with nonprofits to make themselves look good/prestigious/caring, but who don’t give a damn about the organizations themselves.

When we want to figure out how to give money away through our businesses without using it as the crucial key to our respective strategic plans, we have very few role models.

I’m going to share the few examples that I have, and then invite you to share yours, and then maybe we can figure some shit out together about what it means to have enough and then do some good, interesting shit in the world with our enough-ness.

First: a dude named Rob Bell sells tickets to 2-day workshops. He sells them out every time, for every date he announces, and I notice over the years that the price goes from $500 to $400 to $300 without his saying a word. Clearly, demand isn’t a problem, so the price should stay steady, if not increase significantly. But he lowers the price, sells out each event, and keeps on doing his thing. On his birthday, he asks people to give to charity: water and raises over 100 grand.

Second: a dude named Bob Goff dedicates 100% of his book proceeds to the charity he founded. When it’s a NYT bestseller, he just does dances and gets excited and keeps on building schools all over the world with the hundreds of thousands of dollars he’s created.

Third: a group of influential people headed by Glennon Doyle get together and ask for peeps to donate $25 or less to help with the refugee crisis in Syria. Within 30 hours, $1.3 million is raised. They dance and high-five and keep doing their work in the world.

I want to live in a world where we see peeps selling out event after event and they choose to LOWER ticket prices as a result. I want to live in a world where big checks are siphoned off to nonprofits because the entrepreneur behind the business has enough, and where books fund movements and change and nonprofits as well as letting authors eat and sleep and live.

I want to live in a world where the whole world speaks the language of kindness and of giving instead of building endless, tedious and precarious staircases to MORE.

That’s why 25% of breathwork profits are donated to Together Rising and/or Flying Kites on a monthly basis.

That’s why Steer Your Ship funds the education of a teen in Bangladesh who wants to (escape child marriage and) be a doctor through Speak Up for the Poor.

That’s why my biz has donated over $25k to Flying Kites over the years.  (You can hear my interview with founder Leila DeBruyne — episode #49 — here.)

Because more isn’t interesting, and enough allows for a world of possibilities that only open when we pay close attention to what inspires us and heals us and makes us believe hope is real and humanity is good.

Your turn to play with the possibilities:

I used to want to make ___________, but really I want to make ___________ and maybe even _________.

I don’t care about ______________anymore.

I spent ______________ years pursuing __________, and that’s done now.

When I feel like a failure, I beat myself up with ______________________’s success.

I’m tempted to abandon my work and take up _____________________ when my dementors come out.

Again, this was an excerpt!  Listen to the whole podcast episode here:

Catch up on M-School, magic school for entrepreneurs!  Episode 1 lives here and episode 2 lives here.

P.S.  This episode digs into making more space and how you want to feel — and if you want to break up with your phone and feel less like your phone is tethered to you 24/7, Space can help.  It’s a 21-day e-mail class that helps you slowly, patiently untangle your relationship with your phone.  And cut your screen time in half, which frees you up to reach your enough-y goals like donating shittons of money to charity. 😉

👩🏻‍🚀 Check out Space, then join the class.

Remember? Your aliveness, coral reefs, and your 📱

I stumbled upon some new-to-me news this week, and I wanted to share it at both a physical and metaphorical level. Across the world, coral reefs have been seemingly healthy, then they bleach, then they die forever, and the whole process can happen in just a few months.

Stick with me, ’cause this is about your own aliveness as much as it is about the ocean.

“Reefs occupy just 1% of the world’s marine environment, but they provide a home to a quarter of marine species—including a unique set of fish, turtles and algae. Many of these species could be lost permanently, but with temperatures only expected to rise in the coming decades chances are slim that reefs will be able to rebuild from scratch.

‘You can’t grow back a 500-year old coral in 15 years,; says Eakin. ‘In many cases, it’s like you’ve killed the giant redwoods.'” — A Most Beautiful Death, Time Magazine

coral reef photo (click for source article)

This faster-than-anticipated dying is happening at a physical level to coral reefs, but it’s also happening at a metaphorical level to our human interiors.

Let’s talk about your interior continent.

Home of the still, small voice within you that whispers wisdom.(See: this blog post and podcast. 1 of the 3 threads that keep you going in the direction of your own depths.)

The knowing that frees you to safely ignore the most prominent voices and ‘experts’ in any given field if they don’t resonate with you all the way to your bones.

The whisper that points to the next step. The never sexy, often-a-pain-in-the-ass next step that will advance your being. Not necessarily your career or your following or your bank account, but your very being. (*Totally* hypothetical example: taking yoga teacher training for the entire month of May even though you don’t actually want to teach yoga. At great cost, and in freaking Texas.)

The interior continent might account for only 1% of your total life, but I would argue that 25% of your good ideas, creativity, clarity, and sense of fulfillment are generated within it. And the tricky thing is…

You can’t hear that voice when you’re scrolling on Instagram. Period.

That voice doesn’t shout over the 43 marketing emails in your inbox. Ever.

It doesn’t pop up and do jazz hands when you’re clicking around on Facebook or playing games or watching Netflix. Not once.

It waits.

Quietly and patiently.

For you to pay attention.

And it’s really, really easy to stop paying attention.

There’s a whole world within you that could go the way of the coral reef population of the world. You could slowly dry up from the inside out, 📱 in hand, and most people won’t stop you and shake your shoulders to see where you’ve gone.

are you serious GIF

Except.

Once, a friend was talking about how much she needed more money and so she was going to take a job with a HUGE promotion, only it would require her to be away from home 5 out of every 7 days (she’s a homebody) and drive 4-6 hours per day (she rolls down the window and pants like a dog if cooped up in a car for more than 2 hours at a time), and yah she’d be alone all the time but DOLLARS.

I sat there, listening calmly on a bench outside the Starbucks, and kept asking about her life force. Her ikigai, her soul. Over and over and over, until she heard me and got a little pissed off and realized that I was never going to buy in and say I approved of this new-but-very-terrible plan.

Consider this your shoulder shake.

This is me, holding you gently and looking into your eyes and saying, “You don’t have to live like this.” You don’t have to resign yourself to the fate of a dying coral reef, half stilted and bleaching, with the future of your own vitality hanging in the balance.

You can bet on wonder and delight, on a deeper life and on thriving.

You can reclaim your own interiors from scrolling and never-ending busyness and one more click on the latest content.

Space is how you start.

It’s about making room to pay attention.

It’s about giving the vibrant, vital ecosystem of your own interiors a chance to regain some oxygen.

It’s gently sweeping the detritus of perfection porn, dueling voices, digital noise, and overwhelm out of your being.

It’s about remembering who you were before Steve Jobs decided to make his particular dent in the universe.

Do you remember? Do you remember who you were before you could carry a screen around and escape boredom and despair and deep thinking and empty spots in your day at all times?

Because I do.

I remember, you looked up and noticed things. Weird things and people things and everyday things. And dog things. Definitely dog things.

I remember, you took your shoes off and sat down. Outside. With the trees and the air and the sounds of birds. And snacks. 😉

I remember, you didn’t use to care about algorithms. You used to care about books and clouds and catching the eye of that person you wanted to talk to but were too shy to approach.

The way I remember, you were a little closer to whole.

Space allows you to reclaim your wholeness.

Space is absolutely necessary, today and every day, to do the hard work of knowing what you feel, how you want to live, and how best you can be of deep service to everyone and everything on the planet.

You can reclaim it whenever you’d like. You can turn off the screens, lock your phone away, and step outside with nothing but clothing between you and the great outdoors.

⚡️ If you’d like my help doing that work, Space is *also* a 21-day class designed to help you find more room to live in your own interiors.

Space will help you break up with busy and get a handle on your 📱 habit.

During the class, I’ll send you one e-mail per day for 21 days in a row, with simple-but-not-easy tasks to complete. There are even options to get gold ⭐️ extra credit on about half of those days, because overachievers are my people. 😉

By the end of those 21 days, your interior coral reefs will be 10-20% more alive.

You’ll also have cut about ***2 hours of phone use per day** from your life if you follow the prompts and play along.

What could you do or become or enjoy or create or notice with an extra two hours a day? What could you pick up or try or make or pay attention to if you weren’t tethered to your phone?

Space will help you find out.

Pick it up here.

We start on Monday, June 11th, 2018, and class rings in at $69.

👩🏻‍🚀👩🏻‍🚀 2 for 1 live-in bonus! Once you’ve checked out, send me the name and e-mail address of your partner or roommate and I’ll enroll ’em in class at no extra charge so you can take on the challenge of making Space together. This means accountability with an actual, real-life human you can make eye contact with on the daily!

tls GIF

Whether you buy the class or not, I wish you deep, wide, and expansive space to hear your heart and feel your deepest desires.

With all my love —

Kristen

TL;DR Fight back. Tune in to your own interiors. Don’t let the world and its infinite screens suck your life away, because you are a goddamned treasure and if no one else will tell you that, I will. Today, and any damn time you need to hear it.

👩🏻‍🚀 Space starts June 11th, is $69, and will help you break up with your phone already.  Join here.

How to Break Up With Busy (and your 📱, too)

Do you have any skills that are worthy of Trump-level bragging? Like, when people ask you to do something and you can answer, ‘YES I’M THE BEST AT THAT, NO ONE DOES THAT BETTER THAN ME and also LOOK at the size of my hands…?????’ ‘Cause I do.

Turns out I’m pretty damn good at my phone not ruling my life, and lots of peeps struggle with the whole how-do-I-get-my-phone-to-stop-being-my-evil-overlord thing. I made you a class to help you look up, live a life, and make room for exploring the depths. Yes, a class about phones is really about *depth.*

In order to reach any sort of depth in life — whether personally, professionally, emotionally, or spiritually — you need space.

Space to think, space to breathe, space to take care of yourself, and space to simply be.

The growth you long for can’t happen without space. Thus, this course!

Space will help you break your addiction to being Busy-with-a-capital-B all the time, starting with your phone.

According to the latest news (found here and there and over here, too), the average human spends five hours on the phone per day. That’s at least FIVE hours of texting, talking, scrolling, emailing, reading, and watching every single day, most of it in fits and starts that basically kill creativity at its core (backing for that claim lives here).

I maintain my business, keep up with clients, travel for speaking events, make a weekly podcast, and respond to emails and texts while spending under 90 minutes a day on my phone. Most days it’s under an hour, and that includes Netflix.

You don’t have to give up your phone, you just have to manage it.

I’ll show you how to draw healthy boundaries around your device *and your time* so that your phone is not Priority Number One At All Times Because It’s Buzzing Again.

Your phone can be a tool, not a task master.

You can use it consciously and with great love instead of resenting the shit out of it or living in its gleaming, ever-dinging grip.

You’ll regain at least 2 hours of looking-up-from-your-phone life per day by doing all the tasks in Space.

You’ll learn to:

⚡️use your phone as a tool instead of as a task master
⚡️declare victory over your inbox on the daily
⚡️limit the number of podcasts, videos, and feeds you consume
⚡️schedule your time in an intuitive way that makes sense for your life
⚡️build a calendar you can actually stick to
⚡️track your phone time so you can measure progress
⚡️define ‘enough’ at personal and professional levels
⚡️and breathe. You’ll catch your breath and feel less like your insides are being trash-compacted at all times.

So you can:

⚡️regain focus like it’s 1999 (or at least pre-smartphone 2008)
⚡️look your friends/family/pets/partner(s) in the eye again
⚡️get smarter and better at problem-solving (Science says so!)
⚡️surf the waves of overwhelm to chill AF shores
⚡️figure out which parts of the internet you actually love *and ignore the rest*
⚡️make contact with your interior continent

Space is a simple-but-not-easy, action-oriented class that’s broken into 21 daily emails.

Short, sweet, and actionable lessons allow for minimal login info and maximum GIFs. If I could send GIFs via snail mail, this whole class would happen offline.

I want you to be free of your phone.

Choosing to use it can be beautiful and lovely (see: road trips with Waze and Spotify and Pizzeria Pretzel Combos), but having an always-within-reach relationship with it hurts your brain, your work, your loved ones, and your own interiors.

We’ll cover Phone Boundaries 101 in days 1-7, go on an Input Diet for days 8-14, then make and keep a schedule that doesn’t suck your soul or stress you out from days 15-21.

You may have to change some habits and you’ll definitely have to battle FOMO feels, but in the end you’ll create the space you need to do deeper, more satisfying work and live a deeper, more satisfying life.

Aside from science pointing out again and again that Facebook makes us miserable and the internet breaks our brains, consider this:

“I came to learn that women have never had a history or culture of leisure. (Unless you were a nun, one researcher later told me.) That from the dawn of humanity, high status men, removed from the drudge work of life, have enjoyed long, uninterrupted hours of leisure. And in that time, they created art, philosophy, literature, they made scientific discoveries and sank into what psychologists call the peak human experience of flow.

Women aren’t expected to flow.

I read feminist leisure research (who knew such a thing existed?) and international studies that found women around the globe felt that they didn’t deserve leisure time. It felt too selfish. Instead, they felt they had to earn time to themselves by getting to the end of a very long To Do list. Which, let’s face it, never ends.

I began to realise that time is power. That time is a feminist issue.”

— Brigid Schulte, Why time is a feminist issue

Let’s make some Space and reclaim our time (i.e. power), shall we?

This class starts *instantly* after checkout — join now for $69! HALF of proceeds are donated to Together Rising!

 

Questions? Click here or email k@kristenkalp.com.

With all my love —
Kristen

P.S. Space is cheaper than a daily latte habit, only you get smarter and better at problem-solving and this class is calorie-free. 😉

It takes silence and slow time to be creative, and those things are threatening to most Americans, because they understand on some level that that’s what health is about, and that they don’t have it. — Morris Berman

I repeat: if your time is worth $2 per hour and you regain 2 hours per day during the 3 weeks of this course, Space pays for itself on day 18. If your time is worth U.S. minimum wage — $7.25 an hour — Space is paid for by day 5.

Join now.

P.P.S.  Listen to this podcast episode if you want to dig deeper and see if it resonates.  Because procrastination. 😉