⚡️Kristen Kalp - Make more meaning w/my books, breathwork, and biz coaching.

Ahoy there!

I help creative entrepreneurs make more money and meaning through breathwork, books, and business coaching.

New?  Please start here so I can properly introduce myself. 😉

🌈 The Voice workshop is for finding, unleashing, and using the voice of your truest self, starting in a human-to-human, real life space this May.  Check it out.

What do work and worth have to do with your VOICE?

This is episode #2 of the Voice podcast series, and I didn’t even mention your voice at all in part one. Well spotted.

Here’s the thing: if your work and your worth are inextricably bound together, you’re highly unlikely to use your real voice in any but the safest of environments. (Read: never.)

When a customer deciding not to use your services really means there’s something wrong with you and you’re not good enough — OF COURSE you’ll take it personally and then try even harder to please absolutely everyone by becoming more bland and broadly appealing.

When a criticism of something as simple as your color choices is, in your view, also a commentary on the ways you’re a waste of humanity, OF COURSE you’re not going to share your work with many people, or spend years pondering font choices in the hopes that you will be immune to critique.

If your latest project doesn’t do as well as you’d like, commercially, and that means you’re somehow less entitled to exist, OF COURSE you’re more terrified of failure than anything else on earth.

But! When you can separate your work (and others’ thoughts about it) from your worth as a human, you’re far more likely to take chances, share your opinions, and generally experiment with your output for both business and pleasure.

When you truly believe that a troll commenting about the size of your ass or waist or wallet or work has NOTHING TO DO with your intrinsic value as a human, you get freer. Fast.

Free, like: you don’t hide behind planning and planning and planning in ever-more-advanced attempts to stave off criticism by releasing a ‘perfect’ product, service, piece, website, or event. You just put your work into the world.

Free, like: you aren’t obsessed with making people like you (because their disliking you decreases your value as a human, asshole brain whispers), so you’re better suited to take a stand, to become less vanilla, and to express yourself as you truly are to those around you.

Free, like: you stop holding yourself to an unreachable ‘I’ll be myself when…’ standard that’s always six months or $10,000 away, so you can connect with the clients who are already on the calendar in a deeper way.

Tying your work and worth into a big hairball is the opposite of free.

When you close the door on your soul and tuck it into a tiny, tiny closet reminiscent of Trunchbull’s Chokey in Roald Dahl’s Matilda, you lock your voice up along with it.

You dim your opinions and feelings because you need the most people possible to approve of you.

You loosen your boundaries toward people who suck because you need them to like you, even if they text you absurd demands for sushi delivery at 3 a.m..

Then you spend more and more time scrolling or shopping to dull the pain of shutting yourself down.

When you untangle your work (its own entity! Books! Papers! Emails! Art! Coaching! Whatever it is!) from your worth (soul! Spirit! Ineffable magic in all kinds of forms, not the least of which may be dressing like a 4-year-old at inopportune moments!), you’re fucking FREE.

No one has to like you for you to feel okay with being alive.

No comment is forever.

No potential client’s decision to hire someone else will stir up all sorts of shame and not-enoughness within.

The kind of freedom you seek only comes when you’ve committed to connecting with and sharing your real/true/authentic/raw and probably uncomfortable voice with the world.

Right, but how the fuck do we do that, Kristen?

Glad you asked.

There are four qualities you can actively cultivate within yourself that pretty much guarantee your voice grows more resonant within your own soul and with like-minded people. Ready?

The voices who resonate most deeply within the soul are wild, kind, brave, and clear.

Wild, as in untamed. Willing to challenge the status quo and step outside societal norms when necessary.

Kind, not merely ‘nice.’ Willing to establish boundaries, tell the truth, and bear the consequences without being cruel in any given situation.

Brave, as in vulnerable. Willing to express the fullness of an experience in any given moment, even if it may not turn out well. Willing to move toward the expression of emotion and intensity, rather than away from it.

Clear, as in articulate. Not muddy and vague. Lacking doublespeak or cloudy ideals. Not harkening back to an imagined past that never existed. Concise. Clarity has done the hard work of sorting through murk and yuck to state the simple-but-not-easy truth in any circumstance.

When you connect with the parts of yourself that are wild, kind, brave, and clear, you naturally end up with a wilder, kinder, braver, and clearer (i.e. far more powerful) voice.

Those elements of your voice draw people to you online and off, for business and for pleasure, in ways you can’t even imagine when your soul is in The Chokey.

Let’s unlock it, okay?

I want to hear you speak with every bit of the authority and lack of shame that our politicians employ on a daily basis. (The morally bankrupt get a say, so you sure as hell get one, too.)

I want to hear you share your work — as well as the good and the right, the miraculous and the possible — without the fear of perfectionism or someone not liking you that currently keeps you bound up with silence.

I want you to reject the endless societal constraints placed upon you — be thinner, be quieter, be nicer, oh honey just ignore him he’s drunk — in order to become a freer, wilder, more intuitive human.

I want you to remember the deepest, truest self you’ve been tamping down, ignoring, hiding, or refusing to feed any carbs for years now.

I want to help you find a more expansive, brighter life within this one you’re already living — and then share that brightness with everyone you meet.

Ultimately, I want you to use your voice.

Today, and tomorrow, and for all the days to come.

The Voice workshop is for finding, unleashing, and using the voice of your truest self, starting in a human-to-human, real life space without online comments or haters of any kind.

We have far more power, wisdom, and creativity than we give ourselves credit for.

It’s time to let it out.

The next four podcast episodes are tiiiiiny travels into the places where you typically tamp your voice down and pretend everything is ‘fine.’ We’ll enter into each one together, undo the ‘fine’ parts, and go searching for ‘free’ instead.

In the meantime, let’s find the places where you tangle your work and your worth on the regular:

What have I made someone’s not hiring me say about my value as a human?

Where have I taken critique of my work as critique of my soul?

Where have I given in to asshole brain’s assessment of my total value being related to my brand/web presence/availability/font choices?

Am I predisposed to give the naysayers too much real estate in my brain? Which ‘comments’ or critiques do I still carry around?

Have I let any comments or critiques transform into new rules for being — to the detriment of my voice in the world?

Do I trust that I can be seen and loved as I truly am, even in business?

Where do I hide behind my ‘professional’ voice in order to avoid being seen, heard, or judged?

Journaling on the answer to any one of those questions will show you the places where you’re currently trapped in the work-is-worth paradigm — and will also show you where you can get FREE. Starting right now.

P.S. Part One in the Voice series is here.

Three $0 ways to make more money in 2019.

more money headshot

As you continue to be hit with the ‘New Year, New You’ vibes that encourage everything from starting a Keto Diet to taking endless free trainings that end in pitches for multi-thousand dollar programs, I wanted to give you a few ways to make more money that cost nothing more than your time.

$0 way to make more money #1: Separate your work from your worth in the world.

The value of your work is dependent upon many factors; some economic, some artistic, and some woven into the fabric of society itself. That’s why tying your work — specifically, the number of dollars it brings in — to the sum total of your worth is bound to disappoint you.

If you’ve ever said, “I’m gonna charge what I’m worth” or “they’re not willing to pay what I’m worth,” stop EVERYTHING and listen in. That’s dangerous talk, and we can untie your work from your worth in this brand new podcast episode.

$0 way to make more money #2: Clear energy and plan for the year ahead.

Clearing the energy of the past year while making simple, straightforward tweaks to your calendar can help 2019 be a touch less frustrating than 2018. If some part of you wants to usher in a clean slate for the year, particularly in business, this podcast episode will help.

Also! You’re not behind or wrong or dumb or hopeless if you don’t have a 2019 plan. It’s January freaking EIGHTH, you’re a living breathing amazing human who doesn’t have to waste one more second on perfectionism of any kind.

$0 way to make more money #3: Pay me, dammit!

If you’re afraid of making more money because you think you’ll somehow change — like making six or seven figures means you become a racist, sexist, no good, very bad asshole of DOOM (been there, thought that) —

Or you don’t think you deserve to get paid fairly for your work.

Or you don’t trust yourself to make more money.

STOP EVERYTHING AND LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST EPISODE.

Pay Me, Dammit! is a free class about money, but it’s really about all the ways money is a stand-in for the ways you’re holding yourself back. We tackle ‘em, together, and then I throw down scripts and techniques that just plain make you dollars.

Lemme know what happens when you listen to any/all of these, please! I’d love to hear about it, and I’m always here to answer your questions.

Hugs,

K

P.S. If you wanna make more money with my 1-on-1 help in 2019, check out KK on Tap for a full year of biz coaching.

Your work does not equal your worth.

This is episode #180 of the That’s What She Said podcast!  Listen in or read along below.

If you hang around the interwebs long enough, you’ll find shit-tons of pricing advice for business owners, creative humans, and artists of all kinds. Mostly, this advice amounts to ‘charging what you’re worth.’

It seems empowering and amazing, since it usually means ‘charge more and actually make a profit at this business venture.’  But it’s actually disempowering.

There’s an innate danger to saying, “I’m gonna charge what I’m worth.”

That statement unequivocally equates your work with the sum total of your worth as a human.

Let’s say you’re a skilled clock maker living in 1823. You’re the sole clock maker in your town. Those in your village rely on you to keep the village activities synchronized to some degree. Your craftsmanship is unparalleled and gorgeous. You make a decent living from your skills, which allow you to provide an education for your children and a small bit of savings for your family. (You’re in Switzerland, so your practical-yet-artistic skills directly translate to an increased chocolate supply.)

Cut to 2018. A skilled clock maker is no longer necessary to keep the town operating on time. You, modern clock maker, may be even more skilled than that 1823 person. You may have trained longer and be devoted to more challenging projects.

More gears. More moving parts. More time dedicated to the tiniest of details.

Your work can be more beautiful than ever; you can even be the most talented clock maker in the world! And yet. You may or may not make a living from your work in the modern age.

Of course, you say. This is obvious, Kristen. The value of some work changes over time.

That was so easy to see, right?

Cut to the modern day. You picked up a camera and haven’t reeeeeeally put it down since. You decided to start charging for your photographic work a few years ago, and you’re steadily raising your already-profitable prices as you get busier and take care of more clients. You’re making a decent living from your work. It’s not an empire, but your career is going somewhere you find both fulfilling and challenging.

And then.

Your partner’s work moves you to a new nation. You don’t speak the language and you’re unaware of how the photographic market works in Morocco. Your business shrivels up because you’re unable to communicate with your clients, and those you do manage to find are exceptionally demanding due to cultural differences and unspoken expectations.

Is your work suddenly worth less, here?

Are your talents any less sharp in this new nation?

Should you give up on your artistic aspirations and take up a different job because you’re making less money?

Or. Do circumstances and locales dictate the value of your work.

Of course, you say. This is obvious, Kristen.

The value of your work is dependent upon many factors; some economic, some artistic, and some woven into the fabric of society itself.

YES EXACTLY. That’s why tying your work — specifically, the number of dollars it brings in — to the sum total of your worth is bound to disappoint you.

Whether you’re living in 1823 or Morocco or just 2018: your work is not your worth.

The value of your work can swing wildly from valuable to moderately valuable to a mere commodity over the course of a generation, or with the invention of a new device. Tying your value as a human to the value of your work is setting yourself up for disaster. (See: cannabis farmers whose product has dropped in value by more than 65% since 2015.)

To put it another way: your work does not equal your worth.

For starters, your work pays dividends that are not monetary in nature. Does it bring you a sense of meaning, fulfillment, joy, anticipation, delight, or value in living? Those things aren’t measurable in dollars. You will never happen upon a bevy of Joy Tickets and Delight Nuggets that directly translate to muggle currency. (Related: M-School is a 7-part podcast series to help you bring your magical self to business.)

Further! Working doesn’t make you more worthy.

You’re worthy of being on this planet, whether you make a shit-ton of things or not. Whether you own a business or not. Whether you sell 100% of your next product out in 3 minutes or not.

We see that equating worth with work is absurd when we’re talking about puppies — no, I will NOT force a bevy of baby labradoodles to scout out dog #lifehacks and share them on Snapchat — and we can even spot the equation for 19th-century clock makers. It’s harder to spot the absurdity when it concerns our own lives; equating work with worth is the water in which we swim.

Capitalism pushes us to think we’re more worthy of taking up space as we (get thinner and) produce more stuff: more babies, more art, more work, more food, more cleanliness, more money by any means necessary. Unless you’re driving the economy through the exchange of currency, you’re worthless to capitalism.

Further, and OF COURSE: the hardest work you do is unlikely to be paid work. Whether that’s raising children, caring for a sick sibling or spouse, recovering from mental or physical illnesses, raising the average level of Woke-ness in those around you, or becoming a fuller, deeper, and more enlightened human being — the dollars don’t come rushing in on the heels of those endeavors.

Let’s interrupt the work and worth equivalency.

Let’s talk about charging a fair price for our labor.

Let’s talk about getting as much compensation for your work as possible, whether that involves currency or not.

And let’s separate our WORK from our WORTH once and for all.

A few questions to help you spot this slippery cultural thread in action:

Where do I treat ‘me’ and ‘my business’ as one and the same? (Your business is not you. It is a separate entity.)

What would it mean to charge a fair, living wage for the work I choose to monetize?

Am I trying to monetize my joy in any way — and is that necessary? (Read: it’s okay to make things that aren’t for sale.)

Do I measure the success or failure of any given project by how much money it made?

Do I measure the success or failure of any given year by how much money I’ve earned?

Do I deem my work a ‘failure’ when it doesn’t make money, and is this fair to the work I do? (Hint: it’s probably not.)

What other forms of compensation does my work provide? (Feeling good in your soul absolutely counts as compensation.)

Is there any work I’m no longer interested in making money from doing?

Is there any work that has run its course and can be pruned from my business?

These questions reveal spots where you might be giving money faaaaaar more say over your life and your value to the world than it strictly deserves.

Much of the power you have to change this way of being is in noticing where you’ve given money and/or productivity your power, and then taking it back.

What if you enjoy the work you make, regardless of how much it earns?

What if you stop trying to monetize every aspect of your joy?

What if you give more time and energy to projects that feed your soul, and give a touch less attention to those that are only profitable?

What if you count the days in which you don’t make a single thing — just enjoy being alive — as your most productive?

Because shaping and exploring the contours of the interior continent is some of the most beneficial and rewarding work any human can do.

P.S.  Want to answer all those Work and Worth questions in a nifty workbook?  Click here and I’ll send it to you pronto.