⚡️Kristen Kalp - Page 2 of 122 - Breathwork, biz coaching, and simple tools to help you navigate your interiors.

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How to overcome perfectionism and just keep shipping.

At its most simplified, you overcome perfectionism like this:

Make something up.
Get the word out about it.
Accept dollars for the thing you’ve made up.

(Of course that doesn’t always work, because have you seen the photo to the left and WOW do I suck at being posed sometimes.  But you keep going.)

This is an episode of That’s What She Said, my weekly podcast!  Listen in below, or read along for the transcript(ish).

This thing you’re sharing may or may not require: a website, an e-mail list, a social media presence, and/or a change of job.

It will most definitely involve: risk, leaving your comfort zone, asking for help, and failing. Lots.

We hide behind plans and structures, strategies and investors, sure things and experts, but there’s no real way to know how a thing you’ve made up will do until you introduce it to the world.

So go on, make the thing.

And then introduce it to the world.

“I’ve had many many many products, the vast majority of the things I’ve written, or created, the organizations I built fail, but the reason I’ve managed a modicum of success is because I just keep shipping.” — Seth Godin

We’re tempted to hide, to give up, or to go back to the old way of doing something once we’ve perceived something as a failure, but Seth tells us to just keep shipping.

That idea you’ve got? Ship it.

That thing you’re sitting on? Ship it.

The movement you want to start? Ship it.

Ship 10 things, and 2 will succeed.

That’s better than shipping 1 thing and having it fail, right?  It feels too big, too important, or too grand. It’s not ready, it needs more of this and less of that.

IT WILL NEVER FEEL READY. SHIP IT.

What are you perfecting, tweaking, or planning?

What’s been an idea lurking in your brain for the past few weeks, months, years, or decades?

What is it you want to do but you feel like you just freaking CAN’T because you’re too scared, because you don’t know enough, or because someone else has a slightly similar version and you’re afraid you’ll end up copying him or her, even though you know that’s a lame excuse and really, yours is completely different?

What do you need to set a deadline for, NOW?

I dare you to set it.

And then JUST FUCKING SHIP IT.

When we give one idea, concept, or blueprint too much attention, it can suck away our momentum, tank our mojo, and keep us from shipping.

Your brain will tell you that shipping and shipping and shipping does your clients a disservice. It will say that you should tweak and twerk, that your clients deserve only perfection, that they couldn’t possibly embrace the state of your creation as it is right now.

Only what if it launches and it’s missed the mark? Three months of work into it, that’s devastating.

Three years, or three decades into it? You’ll never recover.

That’s the part where you let your people have at it — whatever it is — and then you tweak.

You listen. You add features or streamline the whole venture. You let the dead bits fall to the wayside. You add life to the parts your peeps embrace. You let your clients inform your work, and your work inform your clients, in a glorious cycle that goes up and up and up and up into something way better than you could ever have created without their input.

When you’re holding tight to perfectionism, you’re not holding tight to your clients.

They deserve to see your work, not to be teased with it until it’s been beaten and battered to within an inch of its life.

When you’re striving for perfection, you can erode the fundamental spirit of a thing.

You lose an edge here, a corner there. You keep chipping away, and suddenly the life is gone.

Sometimes the spirit is in the flaws. Sometimes the charm is in letting us see your humanity. Sometimes the most sacred bits are the parts your detractors might call mistakes. Sometimes the best parts of a program are found in the outtakes.

The world makes a big fuss about perfection, but the act of iterating is infinitely more sexy. When you find yourself in the ‘make it perfect, make it perfect, make it perfect’ loop…ask yourself whether what you’re making hums with life.

Ask a friend who loves you where it sings and where it falls flat. Ask if the whole thing reflects who you are and where you are in the world, or if you’ve accidentally picked up someone’s else’s voice. (Or worse, someone else’s aspirations.) Ask them if it feels like you.

Does it feel like kids covered in mud, or dogs digging in the sand, or those moments when you first picked up the instruments of your profession and thought ‘This is what I want to do with my life…’? If it does, no further polishing is required.

Let us see the work. Let your slightly-wibbly bits sing out to ours and make new off-key-but-lovely music together.

We’d rather have a spirited something than a lifeless lump of perfection.

What have you been sitting on, waiting for, or polishing for way too long?

Where are you dragging your feet?

What can you get to market in the next 6 weeks?

No, really…if you give it your all, what can you get to market in the next 6 weeks? The next 8 weeks?

Pablo Picasso painted his masterpiece, Guernica, in under a month. New York Times bestselling author Jane Green writes her novels in six months. Jack Kerouac wrote On the Road in less than thirty days. My favorite poems always fall out in twenty minutes or less.

Don’t discount something just because you haven’t wallowed in it for a decade or more.

P.S.  If you need help to overcome perfectionism and bring your work to the world, I’ve got three pay-what-you-can books to help!  Go Your Own Way: free yourself from business as usual is ideal if you’ve got no idea where to begin with owning a business.

Introverts at Work will help you explore selling and marketing techniques that make the most of your Quiet-with-a-capital-Q nature.

Calling to the Deep: business as a spiritual practice will help you figure out why your money issues affect your business, and your marital issues affect your bookings, and your own personal failings somehow seem to be far more pronounced the minute you opened your doors.  That’s normal.  Let’s talk about it.

The fine art of saying No.

I spend most of my time working with people who identify as female, so the fine art of saying “no” is a big deal. It’s one of the things we tackle early on in business coaching (waitlist for January is here), since building boundaries and defining what you will and will NOT tolerate will always bring you closer to your higher self and your truest work.

Let’s find some places where you can push things off your plate by saying “no,” and therefore make room for your most important work to come to light.

As always, these points are not about judging you or making you feel small, but about pointing a flashlight to areas of your own interiors that you might not have considered in a while. (Also as always, I only know about these because I’ve been there and unboxed shit-tons of gross debris while getting clear of each one.)

Psst!  This is an episode of That’s What She Said, my weekly podcast!  You can listen in below, catch up on all the episodes here, or keep reading for a transcript(ish).

Let’s start with 15 things to quit that you might not have considered:

+ e-mail lists you ‘should’ like or care about
+ perfection porn across all social media platforms (think flat lays, styled shoots, and product + photography so good that you want to buy $400 artisanal butter knives RIGHT NOW)
+ that one person you’re insanely jealous of and want to BE
+ Facebook, Twitter, or any social media platform that steals your life force
+ any committees, boards, groups, or clubs that give you a sense of dread or loathing when you think about them
+ any client who causes your solar plexus to contract when you see an e-mail from ’em in your inbox
+ unrealistic challenges that set you up for failure (i.e. 90 days of P90X in a row, what happens on day 91?)
+ the safety of doing the thing you’ve always done
+ going it alone
+ those services you bought but no longer use and now they just take $9.99 a month, every month
+ the news in forms that cause harm (video and text are VERY different animals)
+ sports
+ fashion
+ your bathroom scale (Related: I weigh 198+ pounds and 0% care.)

Further out, you can unfollow, unsubscribe, ignore, quit, and give up.

I’ve quit: following a mentor I paid $20k to work with; paying attention to a person I want to BE; Facebook; trying to buy clothes online; gluten, dairy, sugar, and garbage food in general at certain points when my health desperately needed attention. I’ve quit the Catholic church, and Christianity in general (related: coming out of the spiritual closet). I’ve even quit trying to explain my job to my mom.

I need to unfollow these people:

 

I need to unsubscribe from these people:

 

I don’t have to listen to this voice in my head any longer:

 

It’s okay to quit paying attention to:

With quitting, you’ll naturally come up against making sure that you reaaaaaaaally need to quit. I’ve tried buying clothes online again recently, and failed. That means I’ve returned hundreds of dollars’ worth of clothing in the past few weeks because sometimes, we need to be sure the rules we’ve made are still true. This is a normal and healthy part of human behavior, not a reason to flog yourself for any reason. (Related: your shame is not interesting.)

Give up. On purpose.

I’ve given up on having an empire, building a team, making 7 figures, being on Oprah’s radar, doing more than 2 speaking gigs a year, creating big huge expensive scalable programs, and trying to connect with the masses instead of 1-on-1, which is my unique area of bliss and expertise.

Mostly I learned about what I needed to give up on by trying to do each of those things and then wondering why I resented my work so much at every turn.

Seething resentment is generally a sign that you’re on the wrong path.

Your turn! I need to give up on:

 

No more ____________ is a way of saying no.

We all have habits and patterns that repeat, usually unconsciously, until we bring them to light. Let’s drag some of those patterns into the open so you can choose to keep them — or not.

+ No more downloading freebies you never read.
+ No more signing up for services you ‘should’ use.
+ No more trying to make your dreams bigger or smaller in order to fit in.
+ No more toning it down to please _________ (whether that’s a real person or a voice in your head, still applies).
+ No more censoring yourself to avoid being not-liked.
+ No more sticking to rules you’ve had since you were small that no longer make sense or serve you.
+ No more reading books all the way to the end just because you started them.
+ No more numbing out with food/alcohol/drugs/reality TV/other. (Related: is it nourishing or numbing?)
+ No more pretending ________ doesn’t matter, because it does. (In most business-related things, your SOUL is the thing you’re pretending doesn’t matter, which is particularly painful.)
+ No more doing things the way you’ve been doing them because that’s the way they’ve always been done.

Your turn!  I’m declaring NO MORE to:

Finally, there’s the big one. The one person, place, or thing that comes to mind when I say there’s a thing you need to quit, stop doing, or start saying no to.

You don’t have to tell me or anyone else, for that matter, but it is helpful to admit it to yourself.

The big thing I need to admit is:

May you give up, quit, unfollow, unsubscribe, and cancel whatever no longer serves you.
May you find ways to bring your truest work to light.
And may you master the fine art of saying “no,” starting right now.

P.S. Reclaim your energy, become a quitter.

10 ways to beat overwhelm as a biz owner. FAST.

10 ways to stop overwhelm as a biz owner

Tis the season for overwhelm and that busy feeling increasing exponentially, so let’s dive into some simple ways to head overwhelm off at the pass.  You can read and click through below, or listen in to this week’s episode of That What She Said!

Make space.

You can make space physically, by clearing your desk or processing orders. You can also make space mentally, by choosing to pursue one task at a time.

Turn off allll the notifications on your phone and desktop. If you need help breaking your phone addiction, Space will help.  Find out more here.

Delete all the stuff in your Downloads folder. It’s mostly stuff you don’t know what to do with, and now you can take it off your plate entirely.

Delete programs, PDFs, books, freebies, or downloads you don’t want, are never going to use, or no longer need. Yes, you paid money for that online Bobsledding course, but you still live in Florida, so maybe it’s best to admit defeat and move on.

Prioritize.

If you’re constantly running around and asking yourself what to do when, it’s probably time to get yourself some priorities. Namely: if you run a business, you want to keep business coming in.

Write up your six-month marketing calendar I’ll show you how.

Send an email to your list. (No shame, no matter how long it’s been or if it’s been never!  Check out How to F*&(ing Communicate if you don’t know what to say or where to start! Here’s how to start an email list if you don’t yet have one.

Whittle.

You can’t work for 12 hours and be at home taking care of your family for 12 hours and and run a casual marathon and write your book and listen to 48 podcasts today, because there are only 24 hours in a day.

What’s most important about your work day, and how can you best get that work done?

If this is your biggest struggle, check out The Quietly Subversive 3-Hour Work Day, episode 204 of the podcast!

It can also help to clear up your desktop by organizing folders and deleting what’s not necessary in this moment. If you’re one of those people with 4,822 unread messages — it might be time to declare email bankruptcy by deleting everything and sending a quick note to your contacts saying that you’re starting over.

Schedule.

Schedule recurring tasks. Yes, you really can schedule time to check email or write posts or edit your work or…whatever!  Here’s everything I know about time management.

Keep a calendar instead of a to-do list. A to-do list means you’ll knock off the easy stuff and move the gross stuff to tomorrow. A calendar means you’ve got it on lockdown and it will get done, no matter how much you don’t want to do it.

Finally, step away from the screen when your job is done. Find out more about the quietly subversive 3-hour work day.

Make space.

Prioritize.

Whittle.

Schedule.

You got this.

P.S. Breathwork for Overachievers might be helpful, too! This active meditation will help you move through overwhelm within sacred space.