listen to the podcast Archives - Page 3 of 34 - ⚡️Kristen Kalp

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The Other Side

We get up every day
and do the work.
There is drama, pain,
resistance, play,
noise. Sometimes
the deafening silence.

We get up every day and do the work.
No one anywhere says a word because
they do not see and cannot know
what’s required to enter the chambers of the heart,
day after day, week after week, year after year.

They cannot know what it’s like to crawl along your belly
through the tears-snot-pain-awful for what seems like miles
in order to find that reliable feast set in a room of rock:
peace, persistence,

We tell them but they do not believe:
the other side of the tunnel opens
in all directions to pure

P.S. My book of poetry is pay-what-you-can priced.


Last week she told me she wouldn’t come
to my latest offering even if it were free.

I absorbed the blow, laughing —
light as a leaf
falling from the tree outside —
but the seeds of her doubt are trying to take root.
(I have been silenced by far less.)

Perhaps the larger part of Maturity In the Internet Age
is choosing to look it all in the eye and proclaim:

You cannot take my work from me.
You cannot make me believe I am trivial.

You cannot silence me today.
Or tomorrow.
Or on any of the days to come.

This is the promise,
and the reward,
all in one:
you cannot
my work
from me


This is an episode of That’s What She Said, my podcast! Listen in 👇🏼

P.S. If you need (not-poetry-based) help with following up in sales…stay on it.

The Mental Health Pep Talk

mental health pep talk

Little did I know when I started a business eleven (!!!) years ago that I would be talking about mental health with people all the time. The ins and outs, the ups and downs, the hardest parts of being human — it’s all on the table, and that was BEFORE we came down with a pandemic. Lemme read you a poem and love on you in this episode of That’s What She Said, okay? (There are hundreds more episodes here.  Or catch up on all things dealing with depression while running a business.)

To Past Me, Who Has Endured 20 Years of Depression

I love you.

Thank you for every tear you cried;
for every time you left the house
when you’d rather stay in;
for every time you shared the truth
instead of pretending to be okay.

Thank you for being brave enough
to ask for help, to tell on yourself,
to rest and pause when needed.

Thank you for simply enduring
when your brain was sure
you should no longer be alive.

Thank you for resisting the easy way out.

Thank you for being resilient enough to grow into;
grow despite;
grow past;
grow deeper.

Thank you for reaching into your darkest parts,
hands flailing around in sheer nothingness,
and finding gem after gem to examine,

Thank you for continuing to feel
in a world that wants you
to go

Just: thank you.

P.S. Dig poems?  My book of poetry is pay-what-you-can priced.

Resting Bitch Voice

It’s hard to know what to talk about right now.

It’s hard for me to pretend that exclusively talking about getting better at business will help you the most, since capitalism is itself a destructive and nefarious force that extracts resources and labor from humans and the planet, no matter the cost.

That’s why today I’m choosing to talk about the places you might find within yourself that are fucking you over in capitalistic ways that we’ve come to accept as par for being alive in Western culture.

I’m going to call this portion of my asshole brain Resting Bitch Voice. It’s like Resting Bitch Face, only this doesn’t just make you look like you’re pissed when you’re in the latest edition of People magazine.

Resting Bitch Voice keeps you tired, overworked, stressed, steeped in martyrdom, and unable to articulate exactly why you feel like a bag of old turds.

Psst! This is an episode of my podcast, That’s What She Said! Listen in below or keep reading for a transcript-ish version.

First and most obviously, Resting Bitch Voice makes you EARN rest.

You can’t just wake up on any given day off and then go right back to bed.

You’re not allowed to wipe everything from your calendar because your body is falling-down tired.

You must keep hustling, pushing, and powering through.

Every day, all the time.

No matter what.

When you manage to stop hustling, pushing, or powering through, RBV will go ahead and shame you for being ‘lazy’ or ‘selfish’ or both.

Resting Bitch Voice will also pipe up about how you’re doing rest WRONG.

It says things like…

Why can’t you do all these tasks on this very long list and THEN rest?

Why can’t you rest MORE PRODUCTIVELY?

Why aren’t you working ahead when you know you have [ENORMOUS LIST OF THINGS] to do next week?

Why is the pandemic STILL making you tired?

Why can’t you just HANDLE YOUR SHIT without having to sleep, chill, ask for help, or unplug?

If and when you manage to ignore each of those questions, it changes tactics.

…I see you’re still attempting to rest.

Let me remind you of each task on your future to-do list every few seconds, thus causing your workload to haunt you indefinitely. GOOD LUCK RESTING NOW, HUNNY!

Ultimately, Resting Bitch Voice continuously conveys that it is NOT OKAY to be human.

It NEVER stops questioning your Very Human Limitations.

You have to eat?

And pee and poop and sleep and move around and talk to other people, too…?

Amy Poehler Reaction GIF

You need to stop working for today?

Amy Poehler Reaction GIF

You need the weekend to recuperate from this week’s work?

Amy Poehler Reaction GIF

Much of learning to rest is learning to disengage from Resting Bitch Voice.

Not to fight with the voice.

Not to negotiate

or argue with or even

entertain the voice.

You can learn to treat Resting Bitch Voice like an inconsequential phone notification, which can dismissed as easily as a random fact you don’t care about showing up on your screen.



::dismisses with a NOPE::

::removes pants, lies down::

Unfortunately, most of the business-owning peeps I work with are OWNED by Resting Bitch Voice.

While I identify myself as a business coach, much of my work is helping people DISengage from capitalism’s shitty side effects.

Rested people are better able to show up for their lives, their businesses, and their loved ones.

Rested people give the finger to hustle culture by working smarter, not CONTINOUSLY FOR EVERY MOMENT UNTIL DEATH.

Rested people enjoy their lives. (Related: it doesn’t count if you don’t enjoy it.)

Rested people encourage others to rest.

I’m not telling you about Resting Bitch Voice because this is easy work.

Rather, I’m talking about the mechanics of rest because it’s hard for me. My natural tendency is to WAKE UP AND DO SHIT UNTIL I DROP.

But my body is clear about the consequences of not resting.

There was that time my thyroid went down for the count and I learned to make tiny, annoying progress after napping twice before noon for a number of months. There are all the years that I’ve pushed too hard and deepened my own depression.

There is a long list of mental and physical symptoms that appear when I de-prioritize sleep, rest, chill time, down time, and generally not giving a fuck about the internet. (Resting Bitch Voice LOOOOOOOVES Instagram.)

I had to learn that Resting Bitch Voice a.) exists and b.) can singlehandedly ruin my health when I listen to it.

Thus, I’m passing this intelligence along to you.

Whether the roots of your particular RBV are located in capitalism, in your upbringing, in your cultural inheritance, or all three…you don’t have to let it steal rest from you any longer.

Pretend that Resting Bitch Voice has no power over you for the space of the next 3 questions.

Pretend you are no longer bound to the demeaning, Never-Good-Enough voice in your head.

Pretend it can no longer steal your peace or make you wobble through your to-do list far past the point of exhaustion.

How many hours of sleep and/or downtime would you get if you allowed yourself to be fully human?

What would regular rest and downtime look like if you let yourself be fully human?

What would you put down, leave behind, stop doing, or start prioritizing from an allowed-to-be-fully-human space?


How many hours of sleep and/or downtime would you get if you allowed yourself to be fully human?

What would regular rest and downtime look like if you let yourself be fully human?

What would you put down, leave behind, stop doing, or start prioritizing from an allowed-to-be-fully-human space?

Start there.

If you’d like to let me know what you’re doing to start doing (or stop doing!), drop me a line via or right here. I’d love to hear which of your Very Human Limitations you’re going to prioritize!

If you’d like my help in bringing your truest work into the world — minus hustle culture and plus rest — talk with me about business coaching! (On the actual phone like it’s 1994!)

🔥Peek at KK on Tap (online) or Solo (in person, Philadelphia), then book your call.

Resting Bitch Voice doesn’t have to steal your time and energy any longer.

May you find the ability to identify and dismiss RBV. Day after day, week after week, until it no longer holds sway over your calendar or identity.

May you learn to put your work down and rest completely.

May you enjoy the fruits of your labors, rather than working constantly to produce even more sweetness that goes untasted.

P.S. It doesn’t count if you don’t enjoy it.

Square Zero

Square One means you know where you are and have some idea of the tasks that lie ahead.

You’ve moved before, so you know there are boxes to be packed and unpacked; utilities to transfer to your name; furniture to rearrange and a new neighborhood to learn.

Square Zero feels like you live in Flan, or Blueberry, or The Quadratic Equation.

Wait, what? How did I get here? WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

That’s disorientation.

Square Zero means you’ve never been to this particular place, and you have no idea how to move out of, through, or beyond it.

Psst! This is an episode of my podcast, That’s What She Said! Listen in below or keep reading for a transcript-ish version. 👇🏼

I remember crying so hard that I was sure my body had lost all liquid when Donald Trump won the Presidential election in 2016. Disorientation came with thoughts like, ‘I don’t know anything about life,’ ‘I don’t understand anything about America,’ and ‘I clearly don’t understand a goddamn thing about humans.’ (You know, really simple and not even a tiny bit dramatic statements!)

Square Zero can’t be solved by jumping into action-taking mode.

Everything in our culture is geared toward TAKE ACTION NOW.

You want to lose weight? START WORKING OUT.

You want to make a bajillion dollars? GET TO HUSTLING.

You want to make a better world? GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY RIGHT NOW.

Our collective TAKE ACTION NOW bias abandons the very human parts of ourselves that are paralyzed by disorientation.

How do you know what to do if you don’t know what’s happening or where you are?

How do you move in the direction of your dreams if a tornado of systemic collapse just blasted your reality to pieces?

Square Zero requires a great deal of empathy for where you are in this moment.

If you’re underwater and you don’t know which way is up — a physical experience of disorientation — swimming will only waste your energy. You’ve got to stay underwater until such time as you know where the sunlight is coming from, and THEN swim toward the surface.

It’s hard to know where the sunlight is right now.

It’s hard to know which actions will bear fruit and which are just spinning our wheels.

It’s difficult to plan for the future with anything resembling certainty.

Our lives are basically a series of if/then flow charts with Covid and its variants causing chaos at the center.

Pandemic caused (and is still causing) MASSIVE disorientation.

We’ve been collectively spinning in some form of WTF IS THIS??? since March 2020.

We are told that this will end; or it won’t; well, maybe; nah, nevermind.

From the CDC, we’ve gotten guidance like, We don’t need masks if we’re vaccinated; OH YES WE CERTAINLY DO; actually, everything is optional; JUST KIDDING WEAR MASKS AND STAY HOME.


Are you currently experiencing disorientation about your work? About what makes your life meaningful? About what you’d like to do and be in the world? About what the future of your home/school/place of worship/community looks like?

That’s normal. We’ve never been here before.

This is where asshole brain gets awesome: it tries to convince you that YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM and EVERYONE ELSE HAS THEIR SHIT FIGURED OUT and also, THIS PROBLEM IS UNSOLVABLE.

It doesn’t matter what the problem is or how big the problem is; Square Zero can apply to pandemic life as well as to opening a cereal box that’s been duct-taped shut.

A better question for Square Zero might be: where is the light? What, if anything, is bringing you even 3% joy at this moment?


Even if it doesn’t make sense or is ‘too expensive’ or you ‘don’t have time’ for it. Maybe it’s a new hobby with very involved processes, or maybe it’s enjoying the sweet, sweet hours-long quiet of morning once the kids have gone to school. (Some call this ‘rest.’)

It’s entirely possible that your painting practice is the difference between your ability to withstand the rest of pandemic and your total collapse. (Related: your art will save your life.)


Just because something isn’t entirely ‘logical’ or isn’t valued by capitalism doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

Where there is any joy or light in disorientation, trust it. Follow it.

Let the wildest parts of your spirit lead you back to yourself, bit by bit.

Judging yourself for not knowing won’t help you know any faster.

Freaking out won’t make the way clearer.

Taking action because being still is too painful will only waste your energy.

Let your longings speak to you.

Let your uncertainty have its say.

Let your whole being want what it wants,

love what it loves,

enjoy what it enjoys.

And eventually — I promise, eventually —

you’ll find Square One.

The next step will emerge.

The path will make itself known.

You’ll leave this place of not knowing

wiser and stronger, more connected

to your own interiors and the world at large.

You will.

You will.

But first…let your crumbs of light lead.

If you’d like my help navigating from Square Zero, book a call and talk with me!

I’ll listen to where you are and then hook you up with one of the the three 1-on-1 options available for working with me at this time!  (We can work together in person, virtually through KK on Tap, or soooon in Philly at The Imaginarium!  But you gotta talk to me!)

P.S. Joy is an act of resistance.