I’ve never had an experience like this one.

For 8 months, I cultivated the energy of The Innermost, checking in with it, taking notes, making plans, and generally dreaming it to life. EIGHT. MONTHS.

As it came to the public, with a sales page and affiliates and general marketing, I continued to check in with it daily. There were no sales and lots of ‘no’s and ‘no thank you’s, but certainly that would change, right?

And then last Tuesday, I woke up and there was no energy in the event. None. Where there had been enthusiasm and excitement and YAY LET’S DO THIS, there was simply nothing. Like a weird little void in my heart.

I checked my email and found what I call the Wall of No: dozens of asks, big and small, all responded to with a no of some kind. The California No, the Firm No, the ‘Maybe Later’ No, the ‘This Sounds Great But I Have Plans Already’ no, the ‘Invite Me Next Time’ No…on and on and on. Each no was kind, but complete.

(I’ve encouraged entrepreneurs to build a No Collection for years now. Normally there’s a Yes or 17 on the other side of all those no’s. Not this time, though!)

Past me would have pushed HARDER: maybe there are a few dozen more people I can ask to promote this event! Maybe if I just buy ads/promote harder/send an endless stream of emails/harass the fuck out of my people…!

Truth be told, the pushing sounds exhausting. And with a fresh case of long Covid, I don’t have the energy for the pushing.

So, The Innermost is canceled.

In this episode of That’s What She Said, I’m speaking directly from the place exactly 0% of business owners like to be: the place where your latest project has been canceled and you have absolutely NO idea how the next one will take shape.

Listen in as I walk you through The Land You Hope You’ll Never Visit with humor and as much insight as I can muster.

P.S. When your failproof plan fails…it’s time to let your deep knowing drive the bus. 😉

When you bring something entirely new to the world, it can be hard to find the words for it.  Further — the FEEL of a live event is difficult to convey via the internets.

The Innermost is as much a devoted space for exploring the taboo as it is an event — which is why Taboo Time was born!

Taboo Time is a brief podcast series featuring conversations about alllll things business taboo.  Rachel Clifton and I talk about the forbidden, the hidden, the invisible, and the ignored in business so you can FEEL what The Innermost will be like in a tangible way.

Softness and revelation? Check.

Deep, meaningful conversation? Check.

The willingness to ‘go there?’ Absolutely.

Listen in as we explore the taboos surrounding women and business 👇🏻

Taboo Time #1: The Lonely.

Between Covid and technological advances, we are far lonelier than we’ve ever been as entrepreneurs.  Worse, most of the time we don’t have safe places to talk about that loneliness — which is why it’s the first topic of Taboo Time. 😉

Taboo Time #2: Showing UP

…in which The Innermost mischief makers Rachel Clifton and myself talk about the fine art of Showing Up, and how very difficult and awkward and terrible that is sometimes. We discuss the standards we set for ourselves around showing up, and how to let more of ourselves be seen on all fronts.

Taboo Time #3: Exploring Softness

…in which the chief mischief makers of The Innermost, Kristen Kalp and Rachel Clifton, talk about all the ways softness can show up, be cultivated, and benefit our lives in myriad ways. (Also why softness is SO FRIGGIN HARD to access in modern day, 2023 culture around the world.)

If you like what you hear, come to The Innermost! 

The Innermost is a live event this November that will help you identify and then neutralize all the ways conditioning passed down to females makes having a business a.) way harder than it has to be and b.) much less fun.  It’s LIVE because we all know ZOOM AIN’T IT — check it out!

P.S. The Innermost will be way more fun if YOU attend. 😉

The Innermost is coming to Asbury Park, New Jersey, this November 5-7, 2023.  It’s a live event designed to help you UnGoodGirl your business as quickly and painlessly as possible.

BUT WHAT AM I GOING TO LEARN, YOU ASK…

Let’s start with the fundamentals: how to steer your business to pleasingly profitable places, no matter the circumstances.

The world of owning a business is laced with ways to waste money, time, and energy ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE. You can easily waste maaaaany thousands of dollars, a few years of your life, and all the energies that cause grey hairs to emerge without making ANY real progress.

Good girl conditioning makes everything about owning a business WORSE.

Specifically, it makes having what you have and wanting what you want nearly impossible.  Those are the keys to navigating entrepreneurial waters cleanly and quickly.

Conditioning dictates that you aren’t reaaaally allowed to have what you have.

You aren’t to talk about your achievements, talents, gifts, powers, or accolades. You aren’t supposed to talk about money, either, which means that even discussions of funding and pricing can become taboo. Because you aren’t allowed to simply HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE, it becomes difficult to feel like you’re a ‘real’ business owner or that your success isn’t just ‘luck’ or ‘a fluke.’

Fully owning what you have, inventory style, is essential to directing your business with confidence in both your abilities and resources.

If your conditioning is fully intact, you won’t know what you want — which is the key to creating a business that brings energy and meaning to your life.

I have talked to MANY MANY MANY female business owners who do NOT want a business. They may have one because they had a hobby and spent too much money on it, so they tried to make it a profitable enterprise, or they may have taken the next ‘logical’ step with their talents, or they may have been forced to use their back-up plan when in financial hardship.

The key to undoing this conditioning is simply to SPEAK ALOUD WHAT YOU WANT AND THEN KEEP HOLD OF IT NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS.

No one on earth can ‘make’ you want something. It’s your job — your sacred duty, even — to be precise and clear about what, exactly, will light you up.

Sometimes the key is to let go of what you don’t want to make room for something better.
Sometimes the key is refining what you already have to make it sing.

No matter what: refusing to acknowledge what you have and what you want will end with a loss of time, power, and energy.

Listen to this episode of That’s What She Said to explore having and wanting in more detail, and to tease out the ways navigating from a place of secure resources and deep desire can help you starting right this moment.

If you enjoy what you hear, come to The Innermost!

P.S. My whoooooooole business at the moment is focused this one event, this one time, and it’s going to be PURE. MOTHERFUCKING. MAGIC. Check out The Innermost, okay?

Strap in, ’cause you’re about to discover the greatest poet you’ve never heard of — and it’s my great pleasure to introduce you to Erin Clarke!

I play Krista Tippett and ask questions, solicit readings of my favorite poems. Erin shows up and shines.

Tune in to The Erin Clarke Poetry Hour for this episode of That’s What She Said.

Love Erin (and of course you do…)? Here’s how to find more of her on the interwebs:

Check out her website
or pick up her book
or become Erin’s Patron now.

What’s that, you want the scoop without listening? Here’s one of my favorite of Erin’s poems from her latest book, (Im)Perfect Blooms.

Do Nothing

Do nothing like a lion
napping in the shade,
waiting for the heavy sun
to drag across the sky,
for the heat to abate
into cool sweet darkness.

Do nothing like a bird singing
in no particular direction,
taking off in an eye-blink
to another branch
without warning or reason.

Do nothing like a baby hippo
cradled in the river,
doing a slow-motion moon-bounce
as its stamping feet
prance on the rocky bottom.

Do nothing like a rabbit,
back feet splayed out in
relaxation, munching on
a casual dandelion
under the covered comfort
of a blackberry bush.

Do nothing because
it is yours to do, always,
for this earth has fruit and shade
and water and it is never
had to be this hard.

Be wild and rest.
It is your birthright.

P.S. You can find my published poems here if you’re in the poetry mood…

Much of my work this year is in continuing to UnGoodGirl myself — and then translating that transformation to all my peeps.

Listen to this That’s What She Said podcast episode if you’re ready to dive in to ways you can begin freeing yourself from money bullshit, starting right now.

We begin the UnGoodGirl podcast series with two money truths:

1. Part of good girl conditioning requires you to say “I’m not good with money,” whether that’s true or not.

I have watched women who have paid for a house with cash or received $250k grants from NASA or gotten a full-ride scholarship to their college of choice or earned six (or 7!) figures last year say THEY ARE NOT GOOD WITH MONEY.

Consider that ‘I’m not good with money’ is a default that’s installed by good girl conditioning, not AN ACTUAL TRUTH.

2. The default money feelings available to women are shame — WHY AM I SO BAD AT MONEY / FAILING WITH MONEY / SO FAR BEHIND — or guilt — WHY DO I HAVE MONEY AND OTHERS DON’T / WHAT DOES HAVING MONEY SAY ABOUT ME / AM I SECRETLY A MONSTER FOR HAVING X AMOUNT OF MONEY.

Consider that you deserve to enjoy the money you have, or to not beat the everloving shit out of yourself if your money levels aren’t where you’d like them to be.  Neither guilt nor shame will help you face, enjoy, or grow your money. 😉

P.S. Money is your friend.